Beat the Dating Schemersby R.T.Hág script Beware the Schemers
Imagine
you date or are
thinking of dating through a reputable, online dating service. This
will automatically give you reassurance about the company providing
your dating prospects. But, let's be real. This does not ensure your
dates are squeaky clean. That job is up to you.
Imagine
giving your personal information to a stranger. To
many strangers. Whom you know nothing about. Personal information
exchanged through a dating service may be honest at your end, but
there is no guarantee your prospect or date is being equally honest
in the information they give you, or in their intent. Ditto for your
in-person meetings or email exchanges. You've
seen it on television, in
movies and read it in crime fiction books. Some people are up to no
good. They are clever and work at setting up the conditions they
need to achieve their goal. You, or someone like you, may be a means
to an end for them. Don't
be squeamish. Name
the Risk. What could they be up to? It doesn't take long for someone
to learn a lot about you, your history, family, habits, work,
friends and haunts and finances. It is possible someone may be
prospecting for: Money: a sugar daddy/mommy/family Two-Step
Risk Reduction
First, take precautions, just like you do in the
bedroom. One -
The Basics When it Comes to Precaution Until
you know you want to take your date somewhere serious in your life,
it is possible and advisable to have a line you don't cross. This
information line relates to various aspects of your life and
identifies how much of it you will or won't open up to your date.
You choose. It can include current information about yourself,
your past, the details of your daily and weekly routines, areas of
vulnerability, fears, your friends and their addresses and
workplaces, and even where you live. This is to begin with and can
remain so for as long as you feel the need.
A
question of disclosure. You
may want to meet for a while in venues you don't usually frequent.
You may want to leave your car at home and take public transport,
which keeps your car registration out of the picture and will expose
anyone following you home to see where you live.
This line of what information you will give and
withhold about your life is a form of simple self-preservation. A
precaution. Don't hand over the keys to your life, until you want
more intimacy with your date and have done the due diligence.
Two -
The Basics When it Comes to Due Diligence Okay.
So you want the relationship to become more serious, you want your
date to come further into your life. Be clear with yourself sooner
rather than later that this is what you want, and carry out due
diligence before stepping up. Run
checks. You
can do some of these checks yourself. Or you can hire a private
investigator to run the checks for you. A PI may have greater access
to forms of information than you do, for example, they may be a
paying member of a website or organisation that provides more
information about people than you can get for free on the internet.
Checks can include anything you have a 'nose' for.
Anything that strikes you as begging for verification. Something odd
your date has said. Some of the more usual items to check are below. Don't
be restricted by this list. If your gut or intuition is pulling your
earlobe - listen. Act. The usual items people ask to have verified.
Name About the author: R.T.Hág is a qualified, registered Private
Investigator. She also writes crime fiction: short stories and
novels and her free Crime Zine is available at http://seismicfish.com/crimezine.html
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