BDSM: What It Is, What It Is
Not
By David
Kamau
script
To some
people, the term BDSM brings to mind images of people tied up in
chains, in some dark secret dungeon and being whipped senseless in
some type of twisted if not macabre pleasure. You know, an
indulgence for those bordering of mental illness.
So, what
exactly is BDSM, and what type of people practice it?
BDSM is an
acronym of Bondage and Discipline (B&D), Dominance and
Submission (D&S), and Sadism and Masochism aka Sadomasochism.
Though there a variant definitions for the term, this one is the
most widely accepted.
Let's go a
little further and briefly describe each of the
sub-terms:
1. Bondage:
refers to the practice of physically restraining a person, by means
of devices such as handcuffs, rope, chains etc.
2. Discipline:
refers to the process of punishing or being punished.
3. Sadism:
refers to deriving pleasure of personal gratification from causing
pain, suffering or cruelty.
4. Masochism:
refers to deriving pleasure from mental, emotional or physical
pain.
While the
major sub-groupings of BDSM are within its own definition, it
encompasses a very wide variety of practices, some being obvious and
others not so obvious. They include;
1. Servitude
or slavery
2.
Spanking/flogging/canning/whipping
3.
Suspension
4.
Humiliation
5.
Sadism/masochism
6. Sensory
deprivation (Example, blindfolding)
7. Body
piercing and tattooing
8. Movement
restriction
9.
Sensation-play (Example, tickling)
10. Medical
procedures
BDSM involves,
but is not limited to, any one or a combination of the above
practices. The practice is as varied as the people involved in it.
The one common denominator is eroticism.
What sort of
people practice BDSM?
Contrary to
the images imprinted in our minds by the media, BDSM is not
necessarily hardcore sadism or pornography. BDSM activities are
performed by people of all walks of life, from various backgrounds
and nationalities, and all sexual orientations, including married
couples. Participants are, in most cases, normal well-adjusted, even
respectable people in their communities.
Is BDSM
abuse?
People who
practice it say they do so for fun. The emphasis is on SSC (Safe,
Sane and Consensual). It is not about dominance or forcing another
person to do things they don't want to do. It is about both parties
doing what they do want to do. It involves two happy
parties.
BDSM can also
be subtle and highly erotic, as in the case of tickling or
stimulating sensitive body parts with a feather, paint brush or
similar object. There may or may not be pain.
BDSM requires
a great deal of trust between the parties involved. If you can't be
trusted you'll have a hard time finding partners.
Why
BDSM?
Okay, this is
where it gets complicated, as we humans are complicated creatures.
There are as many reasons as there are people. The most obvious is
good old fun. Some people do it to fulfill their fantasies. For
others it is the role-playing. For some it is simply the feeling of
dominance or submission. The list is endless.
Is this just
another passing trend?
The media,
when not bashing it, takes BDSM rather lightly, as though a passing
trend. The financial success and continued growth of companies which
market bondage equipment testifies to the fact that it is much more
than that.
Where do you
find partners?
The internet
has enabled people to find others with similar interest across the
globe. They can communicate anonymously, as well as purchase the
necessary tools and toys without having to look over their shoulder.
Specialty websites now offer BDSM personals.
----------------------- About the author: David Kamau is
webmaster of http://e-datecentral.com. To find
reputable sites that offer BDSM Personals go to: http://e-datecentral.com/personals/bdsm.htm
Related Readings:
BDSM
Personals
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