Interracial Dating: To Date or Not To Date?

Warning: Contents of this article may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective of the article. The article is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons.

Prejudice, stereotypes, back-stabbing, jibes, whispers… you name it. Though no longer considered taboo, interracial dating still faces challenges from some quarters. But a look at dating circles is indicative of the growing popularity of interracial relationships.

For one, there is a proliferation of specialty interracial dating sites. And, these sites don’t seem to be complaining of shortage of members. Statistics also indicate an increase in interracial marriages in the US:

The number of interracial marriages in the United States has been on the rise: from 310,000 in 1970, to 651,000 in 1980, and 1,161,000 in 1992, according to the US Census of 1993. Interracial marriages represented 0.7% of all marriages in 1970, rising to 1.3% in 1980 and 2.2% in 1992. With the introduction of the mixed-race category, the 2000 census revealed interracial marriage to be somewhat more widespread, with 2,669,558 interracial marriages recorded, or 4.9% of all marriages. (Here, marriages between two mixed-race persons, or where they are the same race but one is Hispanic and the other not, are not counted as interracial.) In 2005 it is believed that 7% of married couples in the US are interracial. In general, the number of Asian and Hispanic marriages and cohabitation are more than whites and blacks. (Wikipedia)

The most controversial type of interracial dating in the US is that of black and white. This, it appears, originates from the days of slavery and the subsequent segregation.

Interracial relationships between whites and say, Asians, Hispanics or Jews seem to gain easier acceptance – except, of course, for the supremacists and other similar groups – than between blacks and whites.

Also, relationships and intermarriages among the other ethnic groups appear to be more “palatable” than between black and any of the other groups. Don’t ask me why.

As if these prejudices are not enough, gender prejudice also tends to rear its ugly head in interracial relationships, adding salt to wound. For example, when a white woman dates a black man she is automatically branded a slut by some people.

Once more this seems to emanate from the slavery days, when white men could enjoy themselves with black women to their hearts (and loins) content, but their women were not allowed similar indulgencies. The women who did so did it with absolute secrecy and often paid a heavy price when found out. The black man involved always paid with his life, and in extreme pain.

When an economically successful black man marries a white woman (a few celebrities quickly come to mind), it often seems to draw hostility especially from other black women; “they are stealing our good men.” A black woman to a white man marriage is not taken well either.

Why is it that a white woman who dates a black man is considered to be after the mythical black man’s big genitals? Can’t a black man have a big heart or a big brain (shut up you prejudiced people out there!) to go with it?

Institutionalized racial prejudice is no stranger either. In 2000, Bob Jones University ended its ban on interracial dating in wake of media uproar stirred by George W. Bush's visit to the school. The school had lost its tax exemption status in 1976, due to this ban, which it contested in court and finally lost in 1978. The school opted to pay back taxes rather than repeal the controversial rule.

The question of whether to date or not to date outside one’s race has no easy (or short) answer. It is a complex one and permeates the moral, ethnical, religious, psychological, philosophical, and other aspects of humanity, and is beyond the scope of this article. But we can try to answer it in simpler terms.

Basically, there are three types of people who date interracially:

1. Those who want to do it for fun or experimentation.

2. Those that date someone of a different race, sometimes seriously, but would not marry outside their own race due to personal, family or societal considerations.

3. Those that do not mind, or even look forward to, getting into a serious relationship with a view to interracial marriage.

None of the above is wrong. Well, morally maybe but this article is not about moral uprightness.

Want to experiment-date someone of another race? Go for it, hoping you’ll be kind enough to let the other person know that it is not serious thus avoiding a potentially very ugly incident down the road.

Are you a white woman who is dating (or intending to date) a black man? If the mythical large genitalia are what you seek – or are already getting, you lucky woman – that’s okay too. But please don’t give the poor guy hopes of seriousness if you know there is no chance for that.

For the white woman who truly loves a black man but draws the usual stereotypical jibes; tell them that he truly does have a big heart and/or brain. You might also add that his big genitals are icing on the already delicious cake, just to piss them off.

I could go on, across the various ethnic groups, but I’m sure you get the picture.

The simple (but not easy) answer to the question (to date or not to date interracially) is; believe in yourself and do what makes you happy.

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Seeking interracial partners or interracial dating? Now find top rated interracial dating sites. David Kamau writes on dating and reviews internet dating sites.