September 25, 2009

Breakup Advice for Guys – 10 Tips for Dumping Her and Remaining a Gentleman

This site is about building relationships but there comes a time when breaking one is not only inevitable, but the right thing to do. Gentlemen, here’s how to dump (excuse the word) that gal and still remain… well, a gentleman.

Are you planning to dump your girlfriend? How do you end the relationship and still look like a gentleman? Here is some breakup advice for guys.

Tip 1- Prepare her ahead of time. Drop hints that you aren’t satisfied with your relationship. Have “relationship talks” or just ask leading questions from time to time. Stop spending as much time with her. And, tone down the spending. If you buy her an expensive piece of jewelry and then dump her, she won’t know what to think.

Tip 2 – Make sure she’s the first to know you’re calling it quits. If she finds out from your friends (or worse, hers) that you’re moving on, she’ll hate you forever. Be honest with her and tell her that you love her but you are no longer in love with her.

Tip 3 – Find a neutral place to break up. She shouldn’t have to live with the break up every day at her house. And, when you break up at your place, you are shifting the power dynamic in your favor. So, when at all possible, break the news some place neutral.

Tip 4 – My next piece of breakup advice is to be a man and end it in person. Remember, Brittney Spears once called a relationship off by text message. Don’t be a Brittney! You owe it to her to tell her that you don’t want to see her any longer. You have to be there for her one last time.

Tip 5 – Don’t complicate things. Tell her directly that you don’t want to see her. You should be prepared to tell her why because she will ask. But, don’t feel you have to relive the entire relationship through the break up process.

Tip 6 – Let her into your world. If you can make her see your perspective on things, she is likely to be able to cope with the break up afterwards better.

Tip 7 – My next piece of breakup advice is if you want to leave, leave. It is likely that she will ask you to reconsider. She may do this at the time you break up or she may do it through texts, calls, and in person meetings afterwards. (Or, she may do both.) Remember that things aren’t going to change if you get back together. There’s a reason you want to break up. So, stick with it.

Tip 8 – Time it right. Okay, there’s never going to be a perfect time to dump someone. But there are times that are worse than others. If you dump her before a major holiday (Christmas, Valentine’s, Birthday, Anniversary), you are going to look like you just didn’t want to buy a gift. Also, be sensitive to other stressors in her life. Don’t dump her the week before final exams or right after her granddad has gone into the hospital for triple bypass surgery. Suck it up and stay with her for another couple of weeks.

Tip 9 – She’s going to cry. Girls are tear machines. So, have some tissues ready when you break the news. Be prepared for her to cry and don’t get too emotional about it yourself.

Remember, it is going to be tough on her when you call it quits. That is why you should follow the breakup advice in this article.