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Online Dating Scams: Don't Lose Your Shirt In Your Search For Love

Dawg — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 21:30:01 +0000

According to the Match.com, 1 in 5 relationships begin online. Okay, they probably meant 1 in five relationships in technologically advanced countries, but it's still a huge number. This makes it very attractive to scammers. Not surprisingly, online dating scams are on the rise. Don't lose your heart and your money.

The reason scam artists seem to have a love affair with online with online dating is because:

A of multitude of people (call it the numbers game, the more the merrier etc.).
Emotions are part and parcel of the game. There is no person as emotional as one looking for love, and scam artists appeal to human emotions.

Unfortunately it is extremely difficult to apprehend an online fraudster as they typically operate from overseas, Nigeria being among the countries as usual, and thus under different laws. And, of course, they use fake names. Your best defense is prevention. Here then are some tips to recognize and avoid online dating scams:

How to Recognize a Scam Artist
The relationship may not be what you think, especially if your sweetheart:
wants to leave the dating site immediately and use personal email or IM
claims love in a heartbeat
claims to be from the U.S., but is traveling or working overseas
plans to visit, but is prevented by a traumatic event or a business deal gone sour
Scammers also like to say they’re out of the country for business or military service.
What You Can Do About It
You may lose your heart, but you don’t have to lose your shirt, too. Don’t wire money to cover:
travel
medical emergencies
hotel bills
hospital bills for a child or other relative
visas or other official documents
or losses from a temporary financial setback
Don’t send money to tide someone over after a mugging or robbery, and don’t do anyone a favor by making an online purchase or forwarding a package to another country. One request leads to another, and delays and disappointments will follow. In the end, the money will be gone along with the person you thought you knew.
Report relationship scams to:
The Federal Trade Commission
The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center
Your state Attorney General
Original post at: On Guard Online

Be sure to enroll with a reputable dating site too. Some sites are made by organized con artists and may not even have real members. But the rule of thumb is, if someone asks for money end that communication immediately. This is why you should never share your primary email, phone number or mailing address with someone you have met online until you have met him or her and feel comfortable.

Woman Scammed Out Of $100K In Online Dating Scam

Dawg — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 23:17:39 +0000

Why Do People Still Fall For The Same Old Online Dating Scams?

That online dating scams are on the increase can hardly be disputed. What really galls me is when some people appear to have more money than sense. When are they gonna get that age-old grandma-sense-cum-commonsense principle that you don't give money to a stranger? Don't get me wrong, I empathize with the victims. But I'm still angry that some people can be so… let's just say easy.
Granted, con artists are masters of persuasion, manipulation and mind control. If they would put those skills into more positive activities, they could actually change the world for better. But some tricks are so old, it is surprising they still work.

What's worse about falling victim of dating scams (aka romance scams, aka love scams) is that not only does the victim lose money, but his/her heart. It can take long to recover and once again trust even someone they truly love and loves them back. Some blame internet dating. In fact, internet-dating-bashing appears to be the norm in some forums. But enough ranting.

Below is a story of one guy who scammed several women that he met on different dating sites out of thousands of dollars a piece. Interestingly, the alleged online dating scammer's last name is Lovering.

Authorities say the thefts go back to November 2006, when Lovering met his first victim on personal ads from Yahoo.com. Lovering convinced this first victim to initially lend him $1,000 for an eBay transaction and then later to lend more money and to co-sign a loan, from which he would repay her all the money he owed her.
However, authorities say, Lovering simply took the money and gave her nothing.
Lovering met the second victim in January 2008 via Craigslist and again convinced this victim that he needed a loan for an eBay item totaling $1,645. Over time, authorities say, Lovering convinced the second victim to lend him more than $28,000 in total, wooing her with romantic dinners and "professions of warmth, affection and physical attraction," according to a statement from the DA's office.
After these transactions, Lovering never saw the victim again but continued to communicate with her electronically, say authorities, telling her he had to be hospitalized in New Hampshire for a serious medical condition. While he made it clear he did not want her to visit, he mentioned he would not be able to pay his bills and that the hospital would not release him without payment.
That's when, authorities say, the woman sent a series of paychecks to him via a post office box he maintained in Weston. In total, this led to the second victim sending more than $70,000 to Lovering, with no repayment from him.

How much money, beg, can one be making to lend someone who is for all intents and purposes really just a stranger as much as $70,000? This is more than some middle-class American families make in a year! But it gets even "better".

This (the) fourth victim sent Lovering two checks totaling $1,500, thinking she would be repaid, say authorities. In addition, Lovering continued to use the Doug Spencer persona to con this victim, saying again he was hospitalized in New Hampshire.
In total, authorities say, Lovering stole more than $100,000 from this fourth victim. See original story

I stumbled a little on the fourth one as it is not clear (at least to me) how this women sent two checks totaling $1,500 but ended up losing more than $100,000. But these are victims who would not have been victims had they simply followed tips for avoiding online dating scams. The tricks used here are not new but are also pretty common.

Online Dating Scams Now Going Local?

Dawg — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 19:28:12 +0000

Online dating is global. But in most cases the real date happens locally. In fact, some people are of the view that the term "online dating" is a misnomer. Well, that is subject of another article. The same goes for online dating scams. They are typically perpetrated internationally but the victim is, of course, a local of some place. In a recent story, one Stacey Payne, Lee County (FL) Sheriff's Office community relations manager appears to be of the view that residents of that county are disproportionately falling victim or internet romance scams.

The article is a good read as it provides great information about dating scams in general. Knowledge coupled with commonsense is your best defense against these scams. And contrary to what you might have heard, Nigerian dating scams are not the only ones to worry about. Scams can be perpetrated locally too.

Thousands of Lee County residents are being victimized by what police call "The Sweetheart Scam."
The relatively new phenomenon of online dating is at the heart of this scam and it's costing significant embarrassment and financial pain, said Stacey Payne, Lee County Sheriff's Office community relations manager. She said as many as 30 percent of all online relationships are artificial emotionally and a potential scam.
"Thousands are harmed every year but I can't give you a more accurate number than that," Payne said.
"Nine times out of 10 the victims will not call us. They are very embarrassed. In their mind, they feel this is more embarrassing a scam to fall prey to than the lottery or grandparents' scam. When talking about romance or relationship of any sort you're putting yourself on the line and it hits them hard."
Charlotte County hasn't seen the scam, said Robert Carpenter of the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office.
"I talked with the head of our Economic Crimes Unit and he said what problem?" Carpenter said. "We have not had a complaint from anyone about being scammed for money from a dating service website. Hope it stays in Lee County."
Lee County's aging population and the economics of places such as Gasparilla Island makes these areas a prime target for the online scammers, Payne said.
"Because Gasparilla Island is a wealthy island it would be a target for these scammers," Payne said. "They know to target the more affluent communities."
Scammers target individuals over the age of 40 who may be emotionally vulnerable due to a recent divorce or death of a spouse, though all age groups are at-risk, she said. Any online contact could be a criminal sitting in a cyber cafe with a well-rehearsed script that's being used on thousands of other innocent victims.
"These heartless scammers play on the victim's vulnerability by declaring their undying love, sending flowers or gifts and promising a fairy tale life together," Payne said. "They will also use stories of severe life circumstances, family tragedies, injuries to themselves while serving overseas in the military, or other hardships to keep their victims concerned and involved in their schemes." See original story

As mentioned previously, knowledge and commonsense is your best defense against online dating scams. Speaking of which, some people keep falling for the scam in which the scammer asks the victim to cash a check, claiming that he/she is unable to do so from their locale (in most cases somewhere in Africa) due to "lack" of technology. To some people, Africa is just this vast jungle/desert with mud-hut villages scattered here and there. And so they believe the scammer and become the latest victim of internet romance scams. They get scammed due to their own ignorance. Little knowledge is dangerous.

Online Dating Scams Target Victims In Dating And Social Networking Sites

Dawg — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 00:09:02 +0000

Man, 48, Falls For Online Dating Scam

We have posted several articles about online dating scams on this blog. These scams – also known as romance scams or love fraud - typically follow the same pattern, and the tricks are rarely new. Most are fairly easy to detect if you know what to look for. Recently, a 48 year old man was ripped off of his life’s savings in a textbook (if one were ever written) pattern of internet romance scams. This one happened on one of the popular social networking sites but it also happens on dating sites especially the free ones. I don’t like the term “divorcee” as used in the article as I hate labels, but it is a story worth reading. Below the story are common patterns of online dating scams that were at play in this case.

It started with a flirtatious Myspace message from a dark-haired beauty with smoldering eyes and olive skin; it ended with him $14,000 poorer and nearly losing the roof over his head.
Rob, a 48-year-old divorcee, responded to the woman's overtures by kindly explaining that the social networking site was not an online dating service -- but, no matter, a response was all this Internet stranger was looking for. The woman eventually revealed her tragic story: She had moved to Ghana to marry, but within a couple months her husband died of malaria. "His family was trying to force her out of the apartment that she was living in with him, and they had even cut off her power," he tells me by phone from his home in Nova Scotia. "That was the first of the money sent -- just enough to supposedly get her power turned back on."
Then there were requests for more -- first for food and then to escape the country. Her ticket out was to marry him, she said, and she knew a travel agent who could arrange for a local ceremony -- with someone else standing in as him -- a Canadian visa and her airplane flight. Each of these things cost yet more money, all of which he provided. "I've always been a rescuer type," Rob says. He waited at the airport for her, but she never showed. Then he got a request for yet more money, an unexpected declaration fee. "Like a fool, I went and sent my last 2,3000 dollars," he said. In total, he sent more than $14,000 to a woman in Ghana who did not really exist.
He's a victim of what's called "love fraud." The looker in the photos was actually porn star Raven Riley. The woman he developed a 10-month relationship with was the fictional creation of a team of professional scammers in Ghana. Rob tells me with a laugh, "I've written a song, 'I married a porn star and only got screwed, never got laid.'" It's certainly one of those laugh-or-you-cry situations: He's never getting that money back -- and Rob is just one of thousands who have fallen prey to this online racket. Now he's a peer counselor at RomanceScams.org, a six-year-old support group that has over 17,000 current active members and claims to have counseled some 50,000 people who believed themselves to be victims. See the original story.

Some Common Online Dating Scam Patterns

Know how these scams work can help you avoid becoming a victim. Here are some common patterns at play in this case, which can serve as red flags:

The victim is a middle-aged person and divorced (perhaps recently). Con artists like to target older persons as they are deemed vulnerable and are typically more financially stable. A recently divorced person is especially vulnerable (he is at a low point in his life, perhaps even desperate).
The scammers find the soft spot which most if not all of us have. In this case, the con artist exploited the poor victim’s sympathetic (and giving) side. Usually, they will pretend to fall madly in love with the older guy or gal, knowing that he/she will be flattered and excited and start thinking with something other than the brain.
They almost always claim to be stranded overseas or suddenly fall into problems, fall sick etc.
If you fall for it and send money, they will probably come for more. Their objective is to milk as much out of you as they possibly can before you wise up.
They use stolen photographs from modeling sites or similar sites. In this case, a porn star’s image was used.

It is fairly easy to avoid common dating scams such as the above. Your first line of defense is, if someone asks you for money, cut the communication right away. If the dating profile picture is magazine quality, something might not be right. Ask to see several pictures of your online date. Don’t flatter yourself. If some model-gorgeous person suddenly claims to be in love with you, something might not be right. Any other tips out there?

Woman Scammed In Online Dating – Don't Let This Happen To You

Dawg — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 20:05:13 +0000

Recently, a woman was scammed by what she thought was her prince charming that she met online. Getting scammed this way is doubly hurting and disheartening, as you not only lose money but your heart.

We have posted several articles about how to detect and avoid this very kind of thing. While it is more rampant on free sites, it also does happen on paid dating sites as this one did. I will say it again, nothing can replace your own due diligence.

If an online “love” begins to ask for money, or your home address before you’ve actually met face to face several times, this should automatically raise a red flag. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been “together” online. Some scammers are very patient, as this one was. They can afford to be, as it creates trust and there are other victims ripening for the pick all the time (you’re just one of many).

Watch the full story on video

Internet Romance Scams – Don't Let Yourself Get Scammed

Dawg — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 20:16:01 +0000

Many people commend the use of online dating for various reasons, convenience being among the top of the list. However, it is possible to be taken by one of the many different internet romance scams if you participate in these websites. If you choose to take part in online dating, it is important that you exercise caution in order to not be scammed.

The typical internet romance scams are perpetrated by people who join online dating sites in a false attempt for find a companion. These peoples' objective is one; to find a lonely vulnerable soul and take advantage of her/him and use this vulnerability to rip them off.

Most perpetrators appear to be located outside the United States, although this is not always the case. They will do everything in their power to get close to those they wish to scam.

They will chat frequently, and will usually try to talk you into taking the communication through a more private method, such as the phone. When the "date" is supposed to be of foreign origin (such as a Russian mail-order bride), this may not trigger suspicion as they will be presumed to have an accent.

But if someone claims to be an "American solder" deployed overseas (or some other type of worker or volunteer) but has a heavy foreign accent, that's a red flag right away. Scam artists usually get around this through hiring a "voice".

Once they have you wrapped in the relationship, those involved in internet romance scams will then become in need of financial assistance. They may try to scam their victim by asking for money so they can purchase a plane ticket to come visit the other person.

Sometimes, they prefer to use a story of despair, such as they need money for medical bills, or to leave the country because they are in danger. No matter the story, many will want to help them due to the bond they have created with the person.

Those who fall for these internet romance scams will likely not hear from their "partner" once they send them money. Some scammers will place a call just to let you know you were scammed, but the majority will just no longer communicate with you. But there are scam artists really have… well, balls. These will keep asking for more using different reasons.

These scams not only harm someone financially, but also emotionally, especially when you felt attached to this person and all they wanted was some cash. For this reason, many people give up on internet dating after being scammed.

To prevent yourself from falling into one of those internet romance scams, you may want to consider staying away from online dating. At the very least, you should use a paid dating site if your budget allows, as this leaves a paper trail.

The notion that people from the US are less likely to scam you is largely false. Yes, unsophisticated crooks can be caught due to IP addresses, but the more sophisticated ones know how to hide this. So, just because someone is from your country does not mean you should let down your guard.

Often internet scam artists use stolen photos in their dating profile. Simply asking for more pictures in different day to day activities such as in the kitchen cooking, for example, will spook the scammer, who will simply disappear.

Always be very cautious and suspicious when someone starts hinting about needed financial help, and decline to offer assistance.

Internet Dating: Things That Could Go Wrong On First Meeting

Dawg — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 01:08:10 +0000

The goal of an internet date is to eventually take it out into the real world. After all how are you going to do “as lovers do” if you don’t meet face to face?

Many people get caught in the fantasy of their new found romance and expectations sometimes do tend to run unrealistically high. Consider that dating on the internet starts anonymously, and someone can easily pretend to be what they are not, and you have a good recipe for potential disappointment.

Cautious optimism is the best way to go. With that said, is small list of things that could go wrong on an internet date gone real-life:

1. The player: This is someone who’s in a relationship or even married. Men tend to take the cup on this one, but women do it too. A twist here is when that person is in a relationship with someone of the same sex or opposite sex if you’re seeking a same-sex relationship.

2. She/he sprays it while saying it: the person has the tendency to spit while talking.

3. She (it’s a she in most cases) suggests that you take a look at her private photos for just $20. This kind of “date” usually originates from a scam site, or a scammer who posts a personal profile on a (usually adult) dating site.

4. No show: It turns out that your date was actually a teenager (sometimes of the same sex as you) carrying out a prank. This mostly happens on free dating sites and social networking sites.

5. Your date actually shows, but she/he is dramatically older (it rarely if ever happens the other way around) than her/his photo. Or she/he is significantly overweight.

Spotting and Avoiding Internet Dating Scams

Dawg — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 23:12:07 +0000

Internet dating scams are real. Anonymity in internet dating is a double-edged sword. It is meant to protect you from people of ill intentions. It can also be used by the same people to pull a fast one on you.

The people in internet dating sites are the same are the same people trying to meet you in the real world. There are good people, bad people, as well as some nut jobs out there.

Unfortunately, the bad ones and the nut jobs of the world can and do hide behind that screen, using it as a means of scamming those who just want to find a romantic partner. Flushing them out isn't easy or fool-proof, but there are several techniques you can use to up your odds against being scammed or worse.

Among the common and mild Internet dating scams is misrepresentation of facts. Some people will misreport their age, gender or other personal information. But an alert reader can often ferret out those falsehoods. The perpetrators often slip-up on simple and obvious things, such as reporting experiences they couldn't possibly have had if they are who they say they are.

There are also the infamous international mail order rackets. These are often but not always carried out by Russians and – you guessed it – Nigerians.

The Russian dating scam targets mainly older men, using an attractive young woman as bait. Once contact is established, the woman feigns love and an interest to join the man in his country (often the US). She asks for money for visa and travel. Once the money has been sent out, she either disappears or runs into other “problems” and needs more money.

Nigerian dating scams are more complicated. A common one is getting contacted by a single whose photo is model quality. Once contact is established, your “date” claims to be some kind of expert working in Africa. You’ll soon be requested to cash checks or money orders for him/her and wire the money back. Of course, the checks or money orders turn out fraudulent, leaving you to pay your bank.

The first protection against internet dating scams is not revealing too much too soon. Certain personal information should never be revealed to anyone online, unless you've met and know them fairly well. Your phone number, address and credit card information top the list.

Also, ask for more than one photograph. Since the photographs used by internet dating scammers are almost always stolen, it is difficult to fake more than one of the same individual.

If someone from another country says that he/she wants to meet you, insist on meeting them in their country first.

Look for inconsistencies and vagueness in their emails. If you send emails with specific details but continue to receive general responses, you are not the sole recipient. Also, if your name only appears on the opening and nowhere else, something is quite not right.

While not a guarantee, joining a reputable dating site offers some protection, as these dating sites do screen their members.

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Beware: Nigerian Romance Scam Targets Internet Dating

Dawg — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 21:17:04 +0000

The popularity of internet dating has caused an increase in romance scams. Perhaps the most notorious of these is the Nigerian romance scam. Singles looking for love online should be on the look out for this scam.

Side note: Not all Nigerians are scammers. There are many honest and sincere people in that country. Just as not all Germans were guilty of the holocaust, all Nigerians should not be judged collectively for the sins of a few bad ones among them.

Nigerian scams are often not easy to detect. Indeed, the Nigerian scam artist is a whole different breed. For one, he (or she) is usually of a higher education level, often a college or university graduate or higher. Secondly, they do their homework. Thirdly, they can be exceptionally patient. Plus, some of them could rival an Oxford English professor in language prowess, especially written language.

The scammer posts a fake profile on a dating site, and often multiple dating sites. Chat rooms and social networking sites are also often targeted, as well as Christian and other religion-based dating sites.

Scammers seem to prefer using white peoplesâ€™ images, apparently cashing in on certain (unfortunate but true) perceptions and stereotypes. The photograph is usually magazine cover quality, and of an exceedingly individual. Where do they get the photographs from?

The photographs are usually stolen from modeling agencies (Focus Hawaii seems to be a favorite one). They also use pictures of foreign models and celebrities not known in the target country. Photographs from other dating profiles have also been known to be used. In a way, the people whose images are used in these scams are victims as well.

Often, scammers prefer to use female photo profiles. Why? Simple: Lots of men will respond to an attractive womanâ€™s personal ad, based on a picture alone. This is not to say that women donâ€™t get scammed. They do get scammed, by men or by other women depending on the personâ€™s sexual orientation (the same goes for men).

In most cases, scammers target older (middle-aged) people seeking long term relationships. Why? Two reasons: 1) at this age the person is likely to be desperate therefore gullible and 2) this age group is likely to be financially stable.

Contact is initiated, often but not always, by the scammer. The stage is set and now begins the grooming phase. The grooming phase is when â€œrelationshipâ€ and trust are built. The scammer claims to be a business executive or some type of expert from the US, Canada or the UK (or other country) temporarily working for his company in Nigeria or other African country.

The fraudster knows all the right things to say and will put you on a pedestal. Before long, you are in the greatest romance journey of your life. Or so you think. Soon he/she declares love. He/she might even send you a few romantic gifts, bought with stolen credit cards.

Once a trusting bond has been established, you are ripe for picking. This can take up to twelve months (talk of patience) and often there is promise of marriage. Then the scammer asks for a â€œbig favorâ€.

The scammer claims that his employer has been paying him in money orders or cashiers checks, which due to differences in banking systems he cannot cash in Nigeria (or other country). The victim is asked to cash the money orders or checks and then wire the money to the scammer via Western Union or Moneygram. He/she might be asked to keep a portion of the money for his/her â€œtroublesâ€. This serves a dual purpose: it helps build trust and also turns the victim into a beneficiary and participant in the scam.

The money orders or checks will turn out fraudulent. It usually takes most banks anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks to clear a check or money order. The scammer is counting on this, and by the time the con is exposed he/she has disappeared, leaving you to pay the bank and/or even face prosecution for participating in the fraud.

Nigerian romance scam does not always involve money, however. Some scammers are out to use your name and address to ship goods bought with stolen credit cards. The goods are first shipped to you, and then you are asked to reship to the scammerâ€™s chosen destination which is usually â€“ you guessed it â€“ Nigeria.

Though most forms of communication are used, including email, Instant Messaging, and Chat, the scammer will shun live video chat. This is because the photographs used are not real. The excuse often is lack of the technology in Nigeria. The scammer can usually hire a voice of the right gender, and even accent, for a phone conversation.

As a final point, just because itâ€™s called Nigerian romance scam does not necessarily mean itâ€™s done in or out of Nigeria. Due to mistrust of anything involving Nigeria, con artists have started operating from other countries of West Africa such as Ghana and Benin.

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Detecting and Avoiding Russian Dating Scams

Dawg — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 16:27:47 +0000

The growing concern around Russian dating scams begs the question; how can you detect a scam and avoid being a victim? While there are no guarantees, you can make yourself a hard target and scare off scammers. Here are some tips:

1. Dating Site: Use only reputable sites specialized in Russian brides and arranging meetings. Their fees help eliminate people with twisted intentions. Also, by using a credit card, a member leaves a trail that can be traced back to him or her.

2. Language skill: Typically, a Russian girl will not be a proficient English speaker, unless she is a language student/graduate or has been abroad.

3. Call her: Ask to give her a call. If she refuses to give you her number after a reasonable length of communication, makes excuses, or insists that you only call at a particular date and time, be very suspicious.

4. Non personal communication: Look for generic emails and letters. If she only refers to you by name in the greeting and never in the body of the email, that email might be going out to a bunch of guys (other potential victims). Ditto if you write about specific day to day things and only receive general responses.

5. Pictures: Having emerged from behind the iron curtain not long ago, technology in Russia is not yet of first-world standards. If the picture is magazine cover quality, something may not be straight. The same goes for the person in the picture.

6. Ask for pictures from real-life situations or even different phases of her life â€“ in the kitchen, with buddies, from a few years ago, with family, and other day to day situations. These would be hard to fake.

7. Visit her: Insist on visiting her in her own country. Tell her this is the only way to find out if the two of you are truly compatible. If she becomes elusive or cuts communication you know what that means.

8. If you are 50 years old or more and an attractive woman in her twenties or thirties suddenly shows interest in you, donâ€™t flatter yourself (no offense intended). Not impossible but ask yourself, why you?

9. If someone claims to fall in love with you after a few emails, be on guard.

10. Do not send her money for visa or air ticket! Insist on meeting her in her own country first. Don't be surprised if she disappears at this point, if she is not for real that is.

Remember, there are thousands of Russian girls who are sincere and of honest intentions. So don't let Russian dating scams deter you from going for what you want. Just approach the market with your mind as well as your heart.