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The Complex Game Of Handling Social Networking And Relationships

Dawg — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 20:45:49 +0000

Mixing Social Networking And Relationships Can Be A Delicate Affair

We live in a digitized world. Where one used to say give time as, say, 4:45pm, now one would say something like 4:44pm. Chances are, he/she would be looking at a digital timepiece. Even relationships have become pretty much digitized. People now break-up through email or text messages. But handling social networking and relationships can be a complex affair. As in an interesting story I came across on CNN Living:

A single "what's on your mind" entry or 140-character tweet can quickly turn your Facebook mini-feed or Twitter stream into a virtual episode of "The Jerry Springer Show."
It's an online ordeal that Las Vegas resident Sharon Chayra knows all too well.
In May, Chayra and her boyfriend, who were "Facebook official," called it quits. Aware that her friends would see the split when she changed her status back to "single," she immediately removed the update from her mini-feed.
Despite her attempts to minimize news of the breakup online, Chayra's ex-boyfriend launched a virtual tirade against her.
"I was able to read his page and did so for about maybe a few weeks after our split," she said. "Then I realized reading his wall was like taking a hammer to my fingers every time and rapping them to exquisite pain -- so I stopped."
Manhattan psychologist Joseph Cilona says people are more likely to share aspects of their love life when emotions are most heightened: during the "honeymoon phase" or when a relationship comes to an end.
"The reality is that there is always a very high possibility that any romantic relationship might not work out at some point, so it's really wise to think ahead and circumvent these kinds of problems," he said.
"Sharing information about personal life, particularly details about romantic relationships, is often related to needs for external validation, approval or admiration," Cilona added. "The underlying emotional subtext of this kind of behavior might be stated as trying to communicate the message: 'I am valuable because someone loves me.' "
Users should share personal information with those who are important to them through more direct and private means, he said.
But with more than 800 million active Facebook users, relationship disclosure is nothing out of the ordinary.

I must admit I’m just beginning to learn social media. Call me Neanderthal (I won’t complain). Mixing social networking and relationships can be potentially hazardous. Things like digital harassment, public smearing and bullying are all too real. Yet social media is about building relationships, so the relationships aspect cannot be entirely removed. And social media is powerful. Remember it brought down a government.

Infidelity In A Marriage: How To Protect Your Marriage

Dawg — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 21:39:00 +0000

Advice On How To Avoid Infidelity In A Marriage

Caught cheating

Infidelity hurts. It is exceedingly painful for the person wronged and, in many cases, even the person cheating. Like they say, action and reaction are always equal and always in the opposite direction. Can infidelity in a marriage be stopped before it starts? Relationships expert Dr Pepper Schwartz believes you can protect your marriage from infidelity and offers some useful tips.

For those who may not know, Dr Pepper Schwartz is one of those credited for developing PerfectMatch.com compatibility profile, called The Duet® Total Compatibility System. She has to her credit over 30 years of advice and research on relationships, what makes them work or otherwise not work. She was recently named the national love and relationships Ambassador for AARP.

You can deal with this information in two ways: You can decide that infidelity is inevitable and there's nothing you can do about it. But I'm a big proponent of the second approach, a prophylactic one — that is, taking measures to protect a partner (or for that matter, yourself) from straying. Here are seven tips that will make infidelity much less likely to happen.
Talk about what fidelity means to you. Make sure your partner knows that fidelity is extremely important for you and what it would do to you, and the marriage, if you had to cope with a betrayal. Your partner may not realize how important this is to you and what your reactions would be. You need to hear his feelings on the matter, too. It's much harder to cheat on someone if you have talked about fidelity from time to time and made your feelings clear.
Keep your sex life active and exciting. If a spouse feels neglected, unwanted or just tolerated, those feelings of being undesired could generate a big push toward someone else's bed. Don't think that you can allow your sex life to deteriorate without any consequences. If you think "he's too old for that sort of thing" or "she is not the kind of person who would do such a thing" you may be sadly mistaken. Your partner may not intend to seek sexual healing in another person's arms, but if you starve a person long enough they will eat anything.
Make sure your relationship is intimate. Sometimes infidelity happens out of angry or vengeful feelings. Perhaps you have been going through a rough period for a long time and both of you feel lonely and isolated. It's not uncommon for a husband or wife to seek comfort and consolation from a friend. If that friend makes you feel more appreciated, well, one thing can lead to another. It's far better to create a situation where your partner can work things out — with you. If things are tense or unhappy for a while, face the issues and work them out together. If you can't do it alone, get a counselor to help restore your relationship. See original story

The whole article is very informative and offers great tips about why people cheat and ways to avoid infidelity in a marriage. We recommend that you read it in full. There is one fundamental flaw in virtually all of us which tends to render such great advice worthless. We imagine that some things happen to other people and not us (the article says so too). We therefore avoid getting proactive until after the fact, which is always too late.

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Infidelity: Why People Cheat

Dawg — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 23:14:31 +0000

A new study about why people cheat (as in infidelity) gives some interesting, even surprising findings. Apparently, men with performance anxiety are more likely to cheat than those who don't. I would have thought it would be the other way around as the poor guy would want to keep his secret within his own shack. Women might cheat due to different reasons such as dissatisfaction with the relationship, though.

The article on this study is an interesting read, but I personally would take it with a pinch of salt, maybe a little pepper too. I wouldn't advice a woman to ask "honey, do you have performance anxiety?" or something of that nature if she caught her man cheating. (She is likely to know about this anyway).

The study involved 506 men and 412 women who reported being in monogamous sexual relationships lasting from three months to 43 years. Participants were asked to report on demographic variables such as religion, education and income. They also completed scales that measured sexual personality variables and answered questions about their relationships.

The study found little difference in rates of infidelity reported by men and women (23 and 19 per cent, respectively). But different things predicted the behaviour for men and women.

For men, significant predictors of infidelity are personality variables, including propensity for sexual excitation (becoming easily aroused by many triggers and situations) and concern about sexual performance failure.

The latter finding might seem counterintuitive, Milhausen said, but other studies have also found this connection. “People might seek out high-risk situations to help them become aroused, or they might choose to have sex with a partner outside of their regular relationship because they feel they have an ‘out’ if the encounter doesn’t go well — they don’t have to see them again.”

For women, relationship happiness is paramount. Women who are dissatisfied with their relationship are more than twice as likely to cheat; those who feel they are sexually incompatible with their partners are nearly three times as likely. See original story

The article states that men who are risk takers are more likely to cheat. Maybe that's why politicians and businessmen tend to err in their ways so much?

So You Want To Know How To Get Your Ex Back

Contributor — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 22:03:11 +0000

You may understand that possibly the relationship deserves a second chance and begin to ponder how to get your ex girlfriend back sometime after a break up. Regardless of who finished the relationship, it may be a difficult to accept that it is over and question if it was the best choice. It might be challenging to have back to your ex, but it is totally achievable, particularly if the break up occurred for a reason. Often, a break up might have happened for simple reasons that enable the possibility of getting back together and there's nothing wrong with seeking to get back with the person that you shared so several passionate moments in the past.

The reason why you want to boost the relationship should be significantly thought out. Seeking to get back together because you feel that the relationship was still good and the break up was based on something that can still be fixed trying is completely plausible. If you realize that the reason why you want to go back to the relationship because you don't want to be alone or if there was a history of jealousy or abuse, then you may want to reevaluate the relationship and maybe seek guidance on these issues. Getting back again should be serious. If it is tried for the wrong causes or too soon, you may end up hurting yourself even more.

You must first take into account several factors before you became decisive to get back together with your former lover. Why the relationship ended need to be considered. It might be easier to fix the relationship if the break up was based on personality or character changes. If both partners drift apart over time, the same ought to apply. If there was a more serious concern like unfaithful or other trust issues, getting back together might prove difficult.

You will find a number of ways to try to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back. There are several things you can do to create it easier, not all techniques will work for each condition. The best factor to do would be to determine what works best in your particular scenario and attempt them. If you tried everything you could to make things take place especially in the event you don't like the way things ended, you must feel contented since that really is the most important thing to do.

Realizing that you are broken up and why is essential. Denial will avoid any tries to restart a relationship impossible. There will usually be open opportunities for resentment and another cause for split if you won't accept the fact. Even in the event you are the one who started the break up, you need to usually bear in mind that you had your causes.

Give time and space, that's the first factor you have to do for your ex. Do the same to yourself. Taking time apart may help you better understand more about yourself and give you time to reflect on the relationship. With sufficient time, you can heal from the discomfort of the break up and clearly believe about whether or not or not obtaining back together will be the best for the both of you. Becoming able to separate from the situation for a whilst and enjoy being on your own will assist you to understand much more about what you're looking for in a relationship and permit you to see if your ex can meet these needs. At exactly the same time, your ex might realize this.

Commence an open communication and take it slow. Chances are that your ex-partner will be hesitant about wanting to restart the relationship. Starting from the begining can be the very best way to go. Have a fresh beginning by letting him or her know that you simply desire to work things out after analyzing issues for some time and becoming single. It'll give a sense of assurance to your ex that you are not just fascinated to go on with your relationship the same way like before and not facing the real issues. Have fun doing casual issues together. Keep all activities fun and light hearted. You will put pressure to your ex as well as to yourself in the event you are too straightforward to discuss significant issues and turn out to be too intimate. While it might be tempting, it's essential to keep in mind that there is a wound in the relationship that requirements time to heal.

Although you're attempting to begin the relationship as if it were a new one, utilizing what you know from the past would be extremely beneficial. You already know your exs likes and dislikes. You know their habits and what makes them tick. You might even have some connection with his or he family, depending upon how lengthy you've been together in the relationship. Even though your ex might have changed over time, there are many things that will stay constant, and letting him or her know that you remember these issues about them and catering to them might assist restart your relationship.

Always stay true to your self, that is the most essential thing. Keeping true as to who you are is important although there might be problems about your personality or behavior that needs to be fixed. In the event you will only make believe you be someone else, you will make things worse. Ultimately, you'll get frustrated or become down on yourself. Importantly, your ex will be able to see that you are attempting to be a different person and may not appreciate that you are attempting too hard.

There isn't any real approach to know how to get your ex boy friend back. All it takes is time, determination and treading cautiously. It does not mean that if your relationship ended, there is no more hope to get back. Sometimes a break can be a healthy thing to help the relationship development. Be patient and reasonable with your anticipations on your ex. Try hard, in the lengthy run you will have the ability to observe whether you are really meant to be or not.

Flirting Body Language

Dawg — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 12:00:00 +0000

Just A Few Flirting Body Language Tips To Help You Read The Unspoken

Non-verbal cues play a vital role in both existing relationships as well as new friendships. Hence, it is imperative that one understand flirting body language in order to pickup on non-verbal cues. If one is knowledgeable of non-verbal cues, one not only can detect when another person is flirting but one can also remain cognizant of their own body language and can avoid expressing unwanted gestures that will portray the wrong signals.

Leaning in close to the other person

The acceptable personal space boundaries vary greatly when comparing flirting situates and professional situations. Obviously, when one is in a business setting one must keep a comfortable distance when speaking to a business associate. Conversely, flirting body language allows one to lean in close to the other person while listening attentively or speaking to the other person. Concentrate on maintaining eye contact with the other person while in this close proximity. Those two actions together make for a clear sign that one is flirting and is interested in the other person.

Erect posture

Both females and males engage in flirting body language by enhancing their stance. This may be done by improving the posture visibly or by subtly pushing the chest out and pulling the shoulders back. This improved posture is evident and portrays that one is trying to appear more appealing and confident.

Licking lips

One should be able to differentiate between flirting body language and when a potential mate is simply removing a piece of food from their lips. Obviously, if one is not interested, they would more than likely have parsed lips and would not be licking their lips. Conversely, when a female is flirting, it is not uncommon that she will lick her lips. Whether it is done purposely or instinctively, one is safe to say that moistening lips with ones tongue is a positive form of body language.

Touchy feely

Flirting body language consistently involves subtle, friendly touches. Whether he/she simply grabs your hand while laughing at a joke or he/she caresses your arm for a few seconds, one is safe to consider this a form of flirtatious body language. This physical contact makes the other person aware that they are venturing out of the traditional customary flirtatious actions like smiling and laughing. How one responds to this subtle show of affection will clarify to the other person as to how one will handle a hug or a kiss.

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Tips For Finding Adult Friends

Dawg — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 18:10:59 +0000

Your Guide To Finding Adult Friends

Finding adult friends after you graduate from college can be tough. I really struggled to find adult friends after I moved across the country to start my first real job.

And no, finding adult friends is not about adult dating or amorous pursuits, though of course you can do that too. It is about finding friends, romantic or not, with whom you have something in common and can be good company for one another. In fact, many dating sites do not just help you connect with romantic dates but can also help you anything from a college roommate to a pen pal. As the name suggests, for example, Friend Finder dating site is about finding friends, romantic or otherwise not romantic. It is about human connection. Okay, let's now look at a few tips on finding adult friends. More on Tips For Finding Adult Friends

Five Reasons Why Men Just Disappear

Contributor — Wed, 11 May 2011 06:49:58 +0000

Your man just disappears, and you start thinking: If Barack Obama, the busiest man in the world, finds time for his family, why can't mine find time for me? Can anyone be busier than the President himself? Even if he can give you plenty of reasons for his backing off, his commitment to you is visibly absent. He can say he loves you, but men show their love by their actions. If he really loved you, he'd find time; if he doesn't find the time, good riddance.

Still, it is worth looking at some specific reasons why men just disappear. Some may help you change the situation. Others may help you accept it.

You try to control him too much

You are a freak in the sense that you've become very possessive, demanding so much from him, and giving him obligations of doing this and that. When a man feels like you stand in his way when he likes to do something, he knows he will never be happy with you. When a woman tells a man that she won't have sex unless she is positive that the relationship is going somewhere, he is driven away. He knows she is using sex to control him.

He only wants sex

Some men only want sex. Not all men are like this, but many men are. They will maintain a basically physical relationship, but when you start asking about where the relationship is going, they move onto the next relationship. This is one reason why men just disappear.

There's someone else

If a man and a woman gets into the situation of 'dating exclusively' and then the guy suddenly becomes so cold and then simply leaves a girl hanging, then most probably there's someone else. The other woman may be an ex he still loves, or somebody new he is smitten with.

He may feel you are too good for him

He may not feel emotionally prepared for marriage, but he sees you as wife material. If you are nice and decent, he may not be able to see you as a casual, just-for-having-fun girlfriend, and he may pull away for your sake. If he feels he doesn't deserve you, it may be a matter of bad timing -- men can quite suddenly come to see themselves as ready for marriage, and until then it seems impossible for them.

The relationship is not progressing quickly enough for him

Why do men just disappear after all those romantic dinners, hugs, and kisses? A common reason is that he is not seeing progress toward your going to bed together. Males are practical. How can a man possibly spend for all those elegant dinners and expensive gifts if there's nothing in return? Sex is a driving force for men. Sex is not only a source of pleasure, but typically a man's only path to human intimacy. If intimacy is not developing, he will need to seek it elsewhere.

If you keep encountering this situation, think about it. Maybe the problem is with the man, but maybe you have to consider changing your old ways and starting with a new life with a different perspective.

Top Six “Deal-Breakers” (For Women)

Dawg — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 13:22:54 +0000

By Guest Blogger

Let’s face it—most relationships end in failure. Since you’re online looking for love advice, chances are this is a fact you know all too well.

The truth is that there are a lot of unappealing men out there and they all eventually show their true colors. To put it simply, you have to date a lot of duds before you find a keeper. They key is identifying the duds and ending the relationship before you waste too much of your precious time. This is where “deal-breakers” come in handy.

Deal-breakers are things that a man does that make it immediately clear that he’s not worth your time. If your man does something on this list, tell him to hit the road.

He’s mean to you. A little teasing is acceptable in a relationship, provided it’s done in a flirty way and you can dish it right back. But, if your man regularly criticizes the way you look or the decisions you make, kick him to the curb. Emotional abuse is still abuse, and you shouldn’t spend a single second in an abusive relationship.
He’s mean to others. Even if your man is the treats you like a princess, he’s not worth keeping around if he doesn’t treat others the same way. If he’s racist, bigoted or just a run-of-the-mill bully, it’s time for you to show him the door. If he can’t be a good person, he doesn’t deserve to be with you.
He doesn’t have a job—and he doesn’t care about getting one. If your man is lazy and unmotivated, he’s not worth your time. If he can’t even choose a career and start earning money to support himself, do you really think he’ll be able to support you (and the children you might decide to have) over the long haul? No chance.
He flirts with other women. It’s not realistic to expect your man to never look at another woman, but he certainly shouldn’t be hitting on anyone but you. Make it clear that he can look but not touch. If that’s too much to ask of him, it’s time for you to say “see ya later.”
He drinks too much. Alcoholism is a serious matter and we’re not suggesting that you give up on someone you’ve been in a long-term relationship with just because he’s showing signs of addiction. If you’re committed to him, help him get the assistance he needs. That said, if you’re just starting out in a relationship and notice that your new partner has a tendency to get tanked, it’s probably best for you to move on to someone with a little more self-control.
He just wants sex. No healthy, long-term relationship can be built around sex. There needs to be more to your bond or you’re destined for trouble. If all you want right now is a “friends with benefits” thing, then go for it. On the other hand, if you’re hoping for something a little more serious and your man just wants sex, it’s time to cast him aside and find someone new.

Stimulating Guidelines On The Simplest Way To Keep The Romance Alive

Contributor — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 01:39:39 +0000

Any time it is all totally fresh and new, opportunities appear endless and life is hopeful. Merely look at the newly blossomed rose within your own backyard, or even travel over to the seaside to watch the actual dawn each morning. Precisely the same could possibly be proclaimed for a romantic relationship. Within the very beginning it's all about real love and romance. Each individual can't appear to do enough for the other. All of it appears so natural and amazing. You understand the type of issue - you discover you are in a position to finish off the opposite person's sentences, seem to be pondering the same ideas and genuinely, you were intended to be "one."

Some of these periods are very exceptional without a doubt. Every single date that you engage in is quite satisfying and will usually have a place in your heart. You may question to your own self in wonder that this specific person is so affectionate. All things considered, love is something that you get in all those books, is it not?

While that flower might wilt from the heat through the day and lose its unique charm, there's no reason exactly why your intimate relationship must go sour, or that you need to get rid of the perfect connection that you both experienced. You may keep the romance alive forever should you equally desire to and, more to the point, are in a position to acknowledge the point at which factors may start to go off of the boil a bit.

It is definitely true that women tend to be more intimate, generally, than their masculine counterparts. It appears that ladies look at situations and problems through rose colored glasses and undoubtedly value a romantic encounter. This is simply not to convey that the man is hopeless at romantic endeavors, even though a woman is basically "hopelessly romantic." It's just that they're "wired" somewhat differently and each person needs to make allowances.

There was a time when a matrimony could be quite strictly identified. The guy, during those times, would be your "breadwinner." The woman would be the homemaker and would likely raise the family. This sort of apparent delineation implied that this guy would be distracted by work and the concrete realities of aiming to make money and might start to think less regarding the passionate part of the partnership. Obviously we're each simply as destined to be doing work these days, but nevertheless there's no getting away from the truth that, generally speaking, the gentleman seems to be much more sidetracked, in romantic terms.

Understand just how to carefully, but firmly, turn things back in the right course, to help keep the romance alive in your specific romantic relationship. Keep in mind what helped to develop these inner thoughts of romance and affection in the early days and revive them. Never ever let a lot of time pass by while not concentrating on an enchanting interlude. A straightforward escape to a weekend break location might do just fine. A candle lit meal in the home might be another concept.

It is straightforward for us to get swept up within the complexities of life and to actually take things as a given. Never take the relationship as a given and make sure that one does precisely what you are able to, to keep the romance alive.

How To Know A Guy Loves You

Dawg — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 12:00:40 +0000

How do men show love? It is often not with words. Men aren't as articulate as women in expressing their feelings in words. But there are ways to learn whether a man loves you.

Studies show that men do not rely on words to express their feelings. Men are action oriented. Feelings for men call for action. That's why, when you want to talk about your feelings with a man, he reacts as if the feelings are a problem to be solved. It never occurs to him that it is an opportunity to build emotional closeness. So how do men show love? When a woman asked a man I knew whether he loved her, wanting him to say the words, he responded, "Haven't you been paying attention to what I have been doing?" It is a more often a matter of communication style rather than men's supposed commitment phobia .

This article will outline some behavioral signs he may not realize he is sending you.

1. He Lends You His Most Beloved Possession

Any guy who's head over heels on you will happily lend his laptop, iPod or his favorite jersey because he sees it as an opportunity to show his feelings for you. He knows it is possible for you to lose the item but he wants to make a sacrifice to show his trust and care for you. His most precious possession is considered as an extension of himself, any girl who watched his guy arranging his collection of action figures or comic books would know that it is part of his identity. So, when he freely lends it to you, in a way, he is also offering himself.

2. He is Open to Having His Picture Taken with You

A typical guy will have a twisted perception with a camera. At one point, he may be rushing to kick a pose. But when having a photo op with the girl he's dating, he can be a bit nervous. It is because a man usually wanted to project being single even though he's involved. So, in the event your dude wraps his arm around your shoulder for a camera shot, he is sending a signal to everyone that he is off the market.

3. He Wants To Keep You Safe

Way back prehistoric times, a cave man's role was to keep his woman inside the cave safe. Although today, he no longer has to defend you against wild animals, his instinct to protect still remains. Don't be surprised when you unwrap a gift full of pepper spray, personal alarms or stun gun, this means that he wanted to keep you safe even when you are apart. His own security reflex are so powerful he ends up giving you self-defense tools and security gadgets. Isn't it more romantic than the usual flowers and chocolates?

4. When Eating, He Sits Beside You and Shares His Food to You

Have you noticed that women sit facing each other, looking into each other's eyes, sharing their feelings, while men sit side by side, talking about what they are watching or what it reminds them of -- external things? Early in dating, a man will sit across from you, but when he becomes comfortable with you, he will want to sit beside you. Sharing a meal is a fundamental human ritual, expressing and building community. Sharing food goes beyond that. Sharing food goes back to the beginnings of our species -- males becoming hunters and bringing back their kill to share with their females, children, and community. He is symbolically providing for you.

Let this clues help you decipher how to tell a guy loves you. Like the old adage says, action speaks louder than words.