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Infidelity In A Marriage: How To Protect Your Marriage

Dawg — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 21:39:00 +0000

Advice On How To Avoid Infidelity In A Marriage

Caught cheating

Infidelity hurts. It is exceedingly painful for the person wronged and, in many cases, even the person cheating. Like they say, action and reaction are always equal and always in the opposite direction. Can infidelity in a marriage be stopped before it starts? Relationships expert Dr Pepper Schwartz believes you can protect your marriage from infidelity and offers some useful tips.

For those who may not know, Dr Pepper Schwartz is one of those credited for developing PerfectMatch.com compatibility profile, called The Duet® Total Compatibility System. She has to her credit over 30 years of advice and research on relationships, what makes them work or otherwise not work. She was recently named the national love and relationships Ambassador for AARP.

You can deal with this information in two ways: You can decide that infidelity is inevitable and there's nothing you can do about it. But I'm a big proponent of the second approach, a prophylactic one — that is, taking measures to protect a partner (or for that matter, yourself) from straying. Here are seven tips that will make infidelity much less likely to happen.
Talk about what fidelity means to you. Make sure your partner knows that fidelity is extremely important for you and what it would do to you, and the marriage, if you had to cope with a betrayal. Your partner may not realize how important this is to you and what your reactions would be. You need to hear his feelings on the matter, too. It's much harder to cheat on someone if you have talked about fidelity from time to time and made your feelings clear.
Keep your sex life active and exciting. If a spouse feels neglected, unwanted or just tolerated, those feelings of being undesired could generate a big push toward someone else's bed. Don't think that you can allow your sex life to deteriorate without any consequences. If you think "he's too old for that sort of thing" or "she is not the kind of person who would do such a thing" you may be sadly mistaken. Your partner may not intend to seek sexual healing in another person's arms, but if you starve a person long enough they will eat anything.
Make sure your relationship is intimate. Sometimes infidelity happens out of angry or vengeful feelings. Perhaps you have been going through a rough period for a long time and both of you feel lonely and isolated. It's not uncommon for a husband or wife to seek comfort and consolation from a friend. If that friend makes you feel more appreciated, well, one thing can lead to another. It's far better to create a situation where your partner can work things out — with you. If things are tense or unhappy for a while, face the issues and work them out together. If you can't do it alone, get a counselor to help restore your relationship. See original story

The whole article is very informative and offers great tips about why people cheat and ways to avoid infidelity in a marriage. We recommend that you read it in full. There is one fundamental flaw in virtually all of us which tends to render such great advice worthless. We imagine that some things happen to other people and not us (the article says so too). We therefore avoid getting proactive until after the fact, which is always too late.

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Infidelity: Why People Cheat

Dawg — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 23:14:31 +0000

A new study about why people cheat (as in infidelity) gives some interesting, even surprising findings. Apparently, men with performance anxiety are more likely to cheat than those who don't. I would have thought it would be the other way around as the poor guy would want to keep his secret within his own shack. Women might cheat due to different reasons such as dissatisfaction with the relationship, though.

The article on this study is an interesting read, but I personally would take it with a pinch of salt, maybe a little pepper too. I wouldn't advice a woman to ask "honey, do you have performance anxiety?" or something of that nature if she caught her man cheating. (She is likely to know about this anyway).

The study involved 506 men and 412 women who reported being in monogamous sexual relationships lasting from three months to 43 years. Participants were asked to report on demographic variables such as religion, education and income. They also completed scales that measured sexual personality variables and answered questions about their relationships.

The study found little difference in rates of infidelity reported by men and women (23 and 19 per cent, respectively). But different things predicted the behaviour for men and women.

For men, significant predictors of infidelity are personality variables, including propensity for sexual excitation (becoming easily aroused by many triggers and situations) and concern about sexual performance failure.

The latter finding might seem counterintuitive, Milhausen said, but other studies have also found this connection. “People might seek out high-risk situations to help them become aroused, or they might choose to have sex with a partner outside of their regular relationship because they feel they have an ‘out’ if the encounter doesn’t go well — they don’t have to see them again.”

For women, relationship happiness is paramount. Women who are dissatisfied with their relationship are more than twice as likely to cheat; those who feel they are sexually incompatible with their partners are nearly three times as likely. See original story

The article states that men who are risk takers are more likely to cheat. Maybe that's why politicians and businessmen tend to err in their ways so much?

So You Want To Know How To Get Your Ex Back

Contributor — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 22:03:11 +0000

You may understand that possibly the relationship deserves a second chance and begin to ponder how to get your ex girlfriend back sometime after a break up. Regardless of who finished the relationship, it may be a difficult to accept that it is over and question if it was the best choice. It might be challenging to have back to your ex, but it is totally achievable, particularly if the break up occurred for a reason. Often, a break up might have happened for simple reasons that enable the possibility of getting back together and there's nothing wrong with seeking to get back with the person that you shared so several passionate moments in the past.

The reason why you want to boost the relationship should be significantly thought out. Seeking to get back together because you feel that the relationship was still good and the break up was based on something that can still be fixed trying is completely plausible. If you realize that the reason why you want to go back to the relationship because you don't want to be alone or if there was a history of jealousy or abuse, then you may want to reevaluate the relationship and maybe seek guidance on these issues. Getting back again should be serious. If it is tried for the wrong causes or too soon, you may end up hurting yourself even more.

You must first take into account several factors before you became decisive to get back together with your former lover. Why the relationship ended need to be considered. It might be easier to fix the relationship if the break up was based on personality or character changes. If both partners drift apart over time, the same ought to apply. If there was a more serious concern like unfaithful or other trust issues, getting back together might prove difficult.

You will find a number of ways to try to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back. There are several things you can do to create it easier, not all techniques will work for each condition. The best factor to do would be to determine what works best in your particular scenario and attempt them. If you tried everything you could to make things take place especially in the event you don't like the way things ended, you must feel contented since that really is the most important thing to do.

Realizing that you are broken up and why is essential. Denial will avoid any tries to restart a relationship impossible. There will usually be open opportunities for resentment and another cause for split if you won't accept the fact. Even in the event you are the one who started the break up, you need to usually bear in mind that you had your causes.

Give time and space, that's the first factor you have to do for your ex. Do the same to yourself. Taking time apart may help you better understand more about yourself and give you time to reflect on the relationship. With sufficient time, you can heal from the discomfort of the break up and clearly believe about whether or not or not obtaining back together will be the best for the both of you. Becoming able to separate from the situation for a whilst and enjoy being on your own will assist you to understand much more about what you're looking for in a relationship and permit you to see if your ex can meet these needs. At exactly the same time, your ex might realize this.

Commence an open communication and take it slow. Chances are that your ex-partner will be hesitant about wanting to restart the relationship. Starting from the begining can be the very best way to go. Have a fresh beginning by letting him or her know that you simply desire to work things out after analyzing issues for some time and becoming single. It'll give a sense of assurance to your ex that you are not just fascinated to go on with your relationship the same way like before and not facing the real issues. Have fun doing casual issues together. Keep all activities fun and light hearted. You will put pressure to your ex as well as to yourself in the event you are too straightforward to discuss significant issues and turn out to be too intimate. While it might be tempting, it's essential to keep in mind that there is a wound in the relationship that requirements time to heal.

Although you're attempting to begin the relationship as if it were a new one, utilizing what you know from the past would be extremely beneficial. You already know your exs likes and dislikes. You know their habits and what makes them tick. You might even have some connection with his or he family, depending upon how lengthy you've been together in the relationship. Even though your ex might have changed over time, there are many things that will stay constant, and letting him or her know that you remember these issues about them and catering to them might assist restart your relationship.

Always stay true to your self, that is the most essential thing. Keeping true as to who you are is important although there might be problems about your personality or behavior that needs to be fixed. In the event you will only make believe you be someone else, you will make things worse. Ultimately, you'll get frustrated or become down on yourself. Importantly, your ex will be able to see that you are attempting to be a different person and may not appreciate that you are attempting too hard.

There isn't any real approach to know how to get your ex boy friend back. All it takes is time, determination and treading cautiously. It does not mean that if your relationship ended, there is no more hope to get back. Sometimes a break can be a healthy thing to help the relationship development. Be patient and reasonable with your anticipations on your ex. Try hard, in the lengthy run you will have the ability to observe whether you are really meant to be or not.

Five Reasons Why Men Just Disappear

Contributor — Wed, 11 May 2011 06:49:58 +0000

Your man just disappears, and you start thinking: If Barack Obama, the busiest man in the world, finds time for his family, why can't mine find time for me? Can anyone be busier than the President himself? Even if he can give you plenty of reasons for his backing off, his commitment to you is visibly absent. He can say he loves you, but men show their love by their actions. If he really loved you, he'd find time; if he doesn't find the time, good riddance.

Still, it is worth looking at some specific reasons why men just disappear. Some may help you change the situation. Others may help you accept it.

You try to control him too much

You are a freak in the sense that you've become very possessive, demanding so much from him, and giving him obligations of doing this and that. When a man feels like you stand in his way when he likes to do something, he knows he will never be happy with you. When a woman tells a man that she won't have sex unless she is positive that the relationship is going somewhere, he is driven away. He knows she is using sex to control him.

He only wants sex

Some men only want sex. Not all men are like this, but many men are. They will maintain a basically physical relationship, but when you start asking about where the relationship is going, they move onto the next relationship. This is one reason why men just disappear.

There's someone else

If a man and a woman gets into the situation of 'dating exclusively' and then the guy suddenly becomes so cold and then simply leaves a girl hanging, then most probably there's someone else. The other woman may be an ex he still loves, or somebody new he is smitten with.

He may feel you are too good for him

He may not feel emotionally prepared for marriage, but he sees you as wife material. If you are nice and decent, he may not be able to see you as a casual, just-for-having-fun girlfriend, and he may pull away for your sake. If he feels he doesn't deserve you, it may be a matter of bad timing -- men can quite suddenly come to see themselves as ready for marriage, and until then it seems impossible for them.

The relationship is not progressing quickly enough for him

Why do men just disappear after all those romantic dinners, hugs, and kisses? A common reason is that he is not seeing progress toward your going to bed together. Males are practical. How can a man possibly spend for all those elegant dinners and expensive gifts if there's nothing in return? Sex is a driving force for men. Sex is not only a source of pleasure, but typically a man's only path to human intimacy. If intimacy is not developing, he will need to seek it elsewhere.

If you keep encountering this situation, think about it. Maybe the problem is with the man, but maybe you have to consider changing your old ways and starting with a new life with a different perspective.

Are Internet Based Relationships Healthy? Listed Here Are Several Reasons Why They Are

Top Six Deal-Breakers (For Women)

Dawg — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 13:22:54 +0000

By Guest Blogger

Let’s face it—most relationships end in failure. Since you’re online looking for love advice, chances are this is a fact you know all too well.

The truth is that there are a lot of unappealing men out there and they all eventually show their true colors. To put it simply, you have to date a lot of duds before you find a keeper. They key is identifying the duds and ending the relationship before you waste too much of your precious time. This is where “deal-breakers” come in handy.

Deal-breakers are things that a man does that make it immediately clear that he’s not worth your time. If your man does something on this list, tell him to hit the road.

He’s mean to you. A little teasing is acceptable in a relationship, provided it’s done in a flirty way and you can dish it right back. But, if your man regularly criticizes the way you look or the decisions you make, kick him to the curb. Emotional abuse is still abuse, and you shouldn’t spend a single second in an abusive relationship.
He’s mean to others. Even if your man is the treats you like a princess, he’s not worth keeping around if he doesn’t treat others the same way. If he’s racist, bigoted or just a run-of-the-mill bully, it’s time for you to show him the door. If he can’t be a good person, he doesn’t deserve to be with you.
He doesn’t have a job—and he doesn’t care about getting one. If your man is lazy and unmotivated, he’s not worth your time. If he can’t even choose a career and start earning money to support himself, do you really think he’ll be able to support you (and the children you might decide to have) over the long haul? No chance.
He flirts with other women. It’s not realistic to expect your man to never look at another woman, but he certainly shouldn’t be hitting on anyone but you. Make it clear that he can look but not touch. If that’s too much to ask of him, it’s time for you to say “see ya later.”
He drinks too much. Alcoholism is a serious matter and we’re not suggesting that you give up on someone you’ve been in a long-term relationship with just because he’s showing signs of addiction. If you’re committed to him, help him get the assistance he needs. That said, if you’re just starting out in a relationship and notice that your new partner has a tendency to get tanked, it’s probably best for you to move on to someone with a little more self-control.
He just wants sex. No healthy, long-term relationship can be built around sex. There needs to be more to your bond or you’re destined for trouble. If all you want right now is a “friends with benefits” thing, then go for it. On the other hand, if you’re hoping for something a little more serious and your man just wants sex, it’s time to cast him aside and find someone new.

Why Did She Lose Interest in Me?

Dawg — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 13:00:20 +0000

So, you were chatting online (or maybe even going to dinner) and everything seemed calm, kinky and exciting. Then you noticed she started saying fewer words. Then she started avoiding the Internet. Then she backed away from you. Then she eventually seemed less concerned about whether you lived or died. Then she just said point blank, “I don’t like you.” (Or “I hate you.” Or “Please leave me alone.”)

If you are a man frantically wondering what you did wrong on your last date, don’t sweat it. I’m here to tell you exactly what you did wrong. Now bear in mind, I can’t personally comment on your own circumstances. Chances are, one of these scenarios applies to you. Here are some explanations along with the name of every girl who has ever dumped you.

Warning: These girls are harsh, so brace yourself. These comments are fairly self-explanatory, so there’s no need to analyze between the lines.

Amanda: “Sorry…you’re just kind of boring to me. Nothing really seems to be going on in your life. You just say things and say things, and you never really notice that I don’t care. Sometimes I fall asleep chatting with you. You seem nice. I guess some girl out there would find you sort of interesting…but it ain’t me!”

Dawn: You said something a while back that really hurt my feelings and you know what you said. The fact that you don’t even know what it was annoys me to no end. I don’t really care to know you anymore, if that’s the way your mind thinks. You haven’t even apologized or listened to any of my 100 hints that I dropped. So whatever.”

Jennifer: “I’m not physically attracted to you. Have you ever thought of working out…or at least posting pictures of yourself in which you don’t look like a total dork? You may need a face lift. Just saying…”

Krystal: “I met someone else. I wasn’t sure about you and I guess I sort of kept you on the backburner, just to see if this new relationship worked out. You’re better than nothing. But you’re not the best I’ve had.”

Mary: “You’re more like a friend. Do you still not know what this means? {Sigh} Okay…you agree with everything I say, you put me up on a pedestal like you don’t even deserve me, you make weird sappy comments, you have no sense of humor, and you don’t know anything about flirting. You filter everything you think before you say it. You’re like drinking cranberry juice when I could be drinking soda pop or a Long Island Ice Tea.”

Pamela: “Why? Go back and reread your messages to me. You have never once typed a complete sentence, shared one coherent thought, or said anything of interest or value. As far as I can see, you have no reason for existing except to beg women for attention.”

Susan: “Um, I think you might be crazy. I guess I don’t get your sense of humor? You say smart things sometimes but it just seems like you’re showing off. You don’t really care about my life or interests. But you sure do love to hear yourself talk. So keep talking if you want…but I won’t be there.”

All right guys, now that you’ve heard it from the ladies themselves, do you feel better? No? Then maybe it’s time to start over and work on your flirting and listening skills. Theoretically it’s possible that your ex-match stopped talking to you for another reason (maybe the CIA had her taken out), but these are the most likely scenarios.

Don’t bother trying to win over the girls you’ve already struck out with. Start anew and don’t look back. Periodically ask yourself: Am I funny? Am I talking about things that she finds interesting? Am I getting strong reactions from her or is she just being polite? It’s time to entertain your audience, guys!

This was a post by Josh who is a marketing manager for a dating website that specializes zoosk review.

Why Did He Lose Interest in Me?

How To Prevent Cheating In A Relationship And Make Your Relationship Last

Dawg — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 13:00:24 +0000

Most couples of today have a hard time making their relationship work out. One killer problem is infidelity. It is important for women to have some ideas on how to prevent infidelity from happening.

Why do partners become unfaithful? Among the many reasons is this: "they can't get no satisfaction, and they try," but they fail.

Also, men are biologically programmed both to be promiscuous and committed to a relationship at the same time, so emotionally infidelity's definition for men may not even be the same as for their wives. Women accuse men of relationship phobia without considering that men's reluctance comes from their taking commitments very seriously.

The following are some tips for you on how to stop infidelity from happening and maintain an intimate relationship:

1. Share and talk things out together -- You both come from different backgrounds. You cannot avoid differences of opinion. You cannot read each other's minds. If you just assume you know how each other feels, you will not be able to catch problems while they are small. Sharing dreams, ambitions, and principles in life is very important, because he is part of you and you are part of him. It is best started before marriage to avoid conflict. People who do not talk and share things find more conflict in married life, which leads to divorce.

Be careful though. Although communication is vitally important, understand that it may make your man very uncomfortable. Men have problems talking about feelings. Men are ridiculed while growing up for showing emotions. He may be more skilled at winning and losing than at negotiation. If he is unskilled at negotiation, he may fear that a conflict or acknowledged disagreement MUST lead to separation. You are likely to be the expert at communication, and being outclassed also intimidates him.

Also, be aware that men need clear communication. They mostly live in a world of concrete, physical reality. They are often oblivious to hint and nuance. Say precisely what you need them to hear. Just be careful it is not phrased as an attack. Men defend against attacks.

2. Be open and honest -- Tell everything to your partner while you are dating, including your shortcomings and negative aspects. Do not be shy. Your partner will love and marry you for what he sees in you during your dating stage. During dating, you tend to hide your negatives, and intimacy develops even if you did not reveal everything about you. You cannot hide it forever. If you deceived him, you have started marriage with him already having a reason to look elsewhere.

3. Trust -- Mutual trust is important. It has started building during the stages of development of intimacy. You cannot have sex and commitment without trust. Just keep the trust. Trust your partner without any signs of doubt. Expect your partner to trust you the same way.

4. Give time to your partner -- Time is more precious than money. Giving your partner your time makes him feel special and loved -- certainly not giving him time makes him feel the opposite. Go on dates alone, without your kids. This is also a perfect time to get to know each other even better. Getting to know each other does not end when you get married. Men want a woman's attention, and if you don't give your partner your attention, he will be attracted to someone who does.

5. Be flexible and adjust -- Conflicts of ideas and interest may come anytime. No marriage is perfect. Adjusting to what your partner wants, even if you are not interested in it, makes him feel he is special. Your partner will also have to make some adjustments for you. The flexibility and adjustment should be mutual for a lasting relationship. You each must find out the other's most important needs and make sure they are addressed, if you don't want the other to seek to satisfy them elsewhere.

6. Laugh and play -- Share happy moments as you did while dating. Laugh together about simple things. Don't let responsibilities grind you down. We often fail to look at the beauty around us, because we see it every day. Too much ambition without appreciating and laughing and playing in your everyday life is not healthy. A man may be swept away by a woman who brings him joy NOW.

7. Repeat the steps of intimacy -- It has been found that couples who reenact the stages of intimacy have more stable relationships. The stages of intimacy start with looking in each other's eyes, and precede through holding hands, embracing, and petting. You must have experienced that sex is more satisfying when you prepare for it by words and looks and small touches. Going through the stages of physical intimacy prevents making love from deteriorating into just relieving sexual tension.

8. Be a good woman -- Men are attracted to strong femininity. A man is deeply attracted to a "good woman" who exhibits feminine grace and strength. He will try hard to be worthy of her.

These tips should help you prevent infidelity from happening by creating a relationship so satisfying that neither of you feel the need to look elsewhere.

Why Did He Lose Interest in Me?

Dawg — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 13:00:28 +0000

By David (Guest Blogger)

You were talking online for a while, and perhaps you even met each other in person. For a time, things felt relaxed, romantic and fulfilling. Within a few weeks though, something changed about him. He started talking less…he seemed distracted or unhappy. He said something about increasing his workload but you still see him online. It seems as if he doesn’t want to talk to you! What did you do to make him lose interest?

I’m here to tell you exactly what you did wrong. I previously wrote about what men do wrong in relationships. This blog, while similar, is slightly different because of the different way women think than men. Instead of psychoanalyzing your relationship in detail, instead, I’m just going to give you a few scenarios that likely explain why your former flame lost interest. Chances are, one of these explanations applies to you—however hurtful that may seem. We’ve listed several of them along with every guy who ever dumped you.

Warning: These guys can be cruel, but at least they tell the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts and sometimes it seems one-sided. However, we can always benefit from it.

Adam: “I slept with someone else. You were all right, but trust me, she was much better! I guess if I really wanted to settle down and be a married loser, you’d be first in line. See ya, toots.”

Dave: “I’m waiting for someone else. It’s not really fair to string you along, so I’m trying to avoid getting your hopes up. Though I can’t really say no to sex, hahaha. Well, you remember that ex I’m always talking about? Yeah, I’m still in love with her. I like you and all, but if she ever came back to me, I would probably go with her over you in a heartbeat.”

Jared: “My family doesn’t like you. I guess I trust them over you. Mom usually sees trouble coming so I trust her. So I can’t see you anymore.”

Leon: “I already slept with you. On the first date too, because I’m awesome! What more is there to say?”

Michael: “You’re really boring. Do you ever notice how little I actually say to you? I kind of go ah and ooh and wow. Because you never stop talking. But I don’t think we’ve ever really talked about anything that was meaningful. You’re just…shallow, I guess.”

Patrick: “You’re like dating my mother. You’re needy, you tell me what to do, you try to control me, you try to make me commit. Maybe you think you love me…but you’re unbearable for me to be around!”

Steve: “I think you’re in love with your ex-boyfriend, as much as you talk about him. Or maybe you’re in love with yourself? You don’t seem interested in what I do or what I think. Every date we have is just so predictable. I want to have fun. And sometimes fun is the opposite of you.”

Theodore: “You’re mean! Every time I need you, you give me the cold shoulder. You insult me, you flirt with other guys, you pretend like you don’t care. Or maybe you really don’t care. I’m tired of playing games with you. I just want someone that appreciates me for me.”

Victor: “You’re cute and all. But I like a woman with spirit. So many women I meet are just impressed with everything I do. They know I have money, they know I’m handsome and they know I’m smart. But sex is all they have to offer. I like a woman who knows how to talk about smart things, who has a life outside of me, and who isn’t afraid to disagree with me. You’re like dating my own shadow, hon.”

So what have we learned, ladies? It pays to be interesting, funny and exciting. It’s easy to let your guard down when you’re online—and especially when all sorts of guys are just itching for a chance to talk with you. Unfortunately, the best guys online aren’t as easily entertained as “Akpan” from Nigeria.

When you meet a guy that seems really attractive and interesting, don’t “phone in” your performance, thinking he’s there to entertain you. You really have to make an effort to keep his interest and to make that connection. Keep things fun and interesting and he will never get bored of you!

This post was sent to us by David who works for a dating site that reviews the top 10 online dating websites and provides dating comparison.

The Process of Letting Go of a Relationship

Dawg — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:37:45 +0000

Letting go of a relationship when you know it's the absolute best thing to do is usually easier said than done. Whether you're the one who has ended things or your ex did, the process of truly letting go and moving on is often a painful one.

While it's rather easy to say that life will go on and that things will get better or that time heals all wounds, it's definitely much harder to actually believe any of those statements when you're the one trying to deal with the heartache.

However, even though it may seem completely unbelievable to you right now, especially if things just ended recently, the reality is, you really can have a happy, productive life after letting go of a relationship, but only if you choose to let it happen.

Staying fixated on the past, even if it was yesterday, or on circumstances you have no control over doesn't make much sense. While busy dwelling on what did happen or what might have happened had things turned out differently, you're simply wasting all of the time you have right now.

When first letting go of a relationship you have a real choice to make, either living for the here and now and planning for the future, or staying mired in the past, being unable to move forward in life in any way.

Life after a serious relationship can involve so many different things that it's often hard to know where to begin. If you shared a home together then naturally one of you will be finding a new place to live, and if you shared finances in anyway, that will be yet another issue that needs taken care of relatively soon.

Beyond circumstances and situations such as those, there's also, of course, the all important matter of your emotions to deal with when letting go of a relationship.

Feelings of betrayal, loneliness, despair, resentment, anger, and a host of many others are perfectly normal. And in fact, as most therapists and counselors will tell you, it's totally natural to ran the gamut of numerous, varying emotions before finally coming to terms with what's happened.

To take your mind off of the obvious, try immersing yourself in new experiences and activities, meeting different people and making friends other than those the two of you may have shared together. Start an interesting hobby or consider taking a class, either the free kind that are offered at libraries, schools, and community centers, or one at your local college that will help you to earn credits toward a degree.

It's always important to remember when letting go of a relationship that although it may be easy to do, never allow another person to be in control of either your happiness or your destiny. And, resist the all too common urge of getting into another serious relationship too quickly or before you're really ready.

You are the only one who can decide when you're fully ready to move on in that capacity so take the time to make sure you're at that point before allowing anyone else to sway your decision. Although letting go of a relationship isn't the easiest thing in the world to do, it can definitely still be done.

Need tips on how to make up and win back your ex? Check out The Magic of Making Up now.

How to Break Up With Your Boyfriend Without Breaking His Heart

Dawg — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:44:54 +0000

This blog is about building relationships, but there are times when breaking one is not only inevitable, but the right thing to do. This article offers tips on how to break up with your boyfriend without breaking his heart. Is this even possible? Well, read on.

Are you tired of your guy but don’t know how to move on without breaking his heart? This article is for you then. It will tell you how to break up with your boyfriend.

First of all, you should send your boyfriend signals ahead of time. Don’t just drop it on him all of a sudden. Ask him questions like “Are you sure you want to be together?” and “Do you find other girls attractive?” Let him know that there are other girls who would be happy to date him even if you are no longer available for him.

Point out when girls flirt with him. If you know someone who seems to have a crush on him, let him know. Tell him that he’s the kind of guy that any girl would be lucky to have as a boyfriend. Basically, start preparing him for the world after you.

The next step in how to break up with your boyfriend is to find a time and place to do it. There are places that are really bad. For instance, never break up when one of you is driving a car. That could be dangerous!

Also, don’t break up with him after some “dramatic event.” For instance, don’t give him the excuse that he was dancing with another girl at a party. Don’t make it seem like it is his fault. That’s because he will think that if he fixes what you are mad about, he will get you back. You want to let him know that your decision is well though out, that it is about what you want for your life, and that it is really over.

You have to consider his personality when you decide where to break up. For instance, do you want a public or private place? If he’s sensitive, a private place may be nicer, but if he’s going to throw a scene, a public place may temper his dramatics. Sometimes, a quiet restaurant where tears or tantrums would be out of place is the best bet.

If you are going to break up at one of your homes, consider which one would be best. If you break up at his place, you will be able to walk away when you’ve said your piece. If you break up at your place, it may be hard to get him to go.

Be prepared to give him all of his stuff back and ask him to give you your things. This is a concrete signal to him that the relationship really is over.

The next step in how to break up with your boyfriend is to cut off all communication for a specified period of time. Don’t call him, send him texts, or make excuses to run into him. And, don’t accept his calls or texts either. Make it clear that you need a period to cool down before you can be friends again.

Don’t fool yourself that by following these steps, a boyfriend who loves you will take the break up easily. But, these things will help him adjust to life after you. That’s how to break up with your boyfriend.