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Online Dating: Tips On How To Avoid Bad Dates

Dawg — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 15:26:16 +0000

Online Dating Tips To Weed Out Losers

Okay, I don't like to use the word "loser" simply because it is… well, a loosely used word. But for lack of a better word I do make it an exception once in a while. Like now. You have perhaps read lots of online dating tips. These include tips on how to write a good dating profile, email tips, finding the right dating site, and even meeting for the first time. However, there is something missing in most pieces of online dating advice.

What is missing is advice on how to read an online dating profile. What we mean is, how to read between the lines so you avoid a bad date to begin with. This can save you a lot of time, not to mention headaches and heartaches. Someone wrote a very good post on this, from her own experience. Though the post is more appropriate to females – it is written by a female – both men and women can benefit from the insights.

Seattle online dating guru shares her "dealbreakers"
But after all her time in the online dating field, she does have some dealbreakers to share with those ready to put their hearts on the line.
Bergstrom uses List of Top 10 Dating Sites . She said that she briefly gave the site eHarmony a chance, but wasn't a fan of filling out the large questionnaire. She suggests opting for the pay-per-month sites over free dating sites like OKCupid.com.
"When people don't have to pay for something, they perhaps don't take it as seriously," she said.
According to Bergstrom, pictures can say a lot about the person, but there are definitely some photo choices to stay away from. She said that if there are only pictures of scenery, that's a bad sign.
"If there is a picture taken of them only in a towel, taken with their cell phone, that screams d-bag," said Bergstrom.
She also said that obvious spelling and grammar mistakes, like men who can't spell "Seattle" correctly, should probably be avoided.
Luke shared a note that one TBTL listener had received in her online dating mailbox. The note praised her for her ethereal beauty and said that she didn't need to respond, but the man just had to share how her "perfection" struck him.
This lead Bergstram to another online dating faux-pas: "He didn't say anything specific, or that indicated he had read her profile." She said it's likely a note that he copy and pasted and sent to many women, getting a few responses back from women who mostly, above other things, wanted to be complimented. See original post

This brings to back to something I have said time and time again; for those seeking serious relationships, free dating sites are to be avoided. You will come across hordes of curiosity seekers, pranksters and people with just too much time on their hands when you use free sites.

One of the best online dating tips offered is that about reading one's profile. If it appears that they did not read your profile, don't bother responding. Likewise, you too should read the other person's profile and mention something that interested you when making the first contact. Happy mate hunting.

Next, receive FREE online dating and romance dating ebooks full of useful tips today. Go to dating ebooks to find out more.

How To Start Dating Online

Dawg — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 12:00:00 +0000

Tips On How To Start Dating Online And Start Meeting Lovely Singles

The incredible growth of the Internet over the past decade has changed many facets of daily life, including how people shop, get their news and even find a person to date. Though no longer a new concept, many folks are still not familiar with its ins and outs and can use a few pointers about how to start dating online.

The truth is that online dating can be a much better use of time and money than trolling around bars and nightclubs hoping to find Mr. or Ms. right. For one, it allows you to conduct your search from the comfort of your own home and without two drink minimums or pounding house music. For those seeking a fun date too, or no-strings kind of relationships, online dating is great for finding these too.

Here are three things to know that will help you when you start dating online.

How To Start Dating Online: Find A Site You Can Trust

There are thousands of dating sites are based in North America, varying in size, efficiency and trustworthiness. Some are created by scam artists hoping to have a love affair with your bank account. It is a good idea to familiarize yourself with the site.

Take some time to do some research in order to gather as much information and feedback about the site as possible. Want to know how you can cut you research time by half or more? Well, just read objective dating site reviews.

It can be rather difficult to find the right dating site for you if don't know what you want. Therefore, first decide on the kind of relationship you want. Maybe you want someone to spend the weekend with, or a long-term relationship, or even a spouse. General dating sites such as Match.com and FriendFinder.com serve virtually types of people, with varying interests. eHarmony and Perfect Match are made for those seeking long-term relationships or marriage. There is also a niche dating sites for people with specific interests. The different types of dating sites, is subject of a whole different article.

Some say that using several sites at once can be confusing and expensive and you should therefore want join only one in the beginning. We beg to differ.

You see, all the good dating sites do offer a free trial period. You can use this free trial period to test the site. You should choose two or three in the beginning and then decide on one (or more if your budget allows it). Just be aware that some sites offer a rather short trial period; don't let it expire before making use of it.

A little prep work and info gathering up front can go a long way toward helping you find the dating site that is the best fit for you.

How To Start Dating Online: Be Truthful

When people first start dating online, the knee-jerk reaction is to embellish truths such as age, weight and annual income. Some deceptive people even go so far as to use old pictures in their profile, which is certain to backfire if any actual face-to-face meeting ensues. Avoid the natural urge to sugar coat reality and simply be truthful about yourself.

No strong and long-lasting relationship has ever been built on a foundation of deception and lies, so calling yourself the manager of a bank when you work there as a teller is not a wise move. Potential dates will often be far more put off by lies and misinformation than they will be by an old car or a lower-paying job. You want someone who will love for whom you really are.

This having been said, you should feel free to put your best foot forward when taking your profile picture and describing your accomplishments in life.

Be Open Minded And Flexible

Online dating can help you find the person of your dreams. But it is not the key to the gate to fantasy land. If you start dating online with one specific vision of the perfect mate that you are hoping to find, you will likely overlook a sea of worthy candidates.

Flexibility and open mindedness will allow you to interact with an abundance of potential mates, which brings with it confidence and valuable experience. Which in turn allows you to get the most out of your time and money. And possibly meet a wonderful partner.

Next, check out free dating ebooks full of dating and romance tips now.

A Few Tips On How To Date Online And Keep Safe

Online Dating Profile: Why You Can’t Get A Date

Dawg — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 02:46:52 +0000

Not having much luck in online dating? Your online dating profile may be the reason. It could also be how you respond to other's profiles. The two may not necessarily go hand-in-hand, but they are closely related. We have posted articles on how to write a good dating profile as well as how to respond to one right here on this blog. An article on CNN Tech goes further and offers examples on why you may not be getting dates online.

Your missive doesn't have to be Pulitzer-worthy, by any means -- although spell check really doesn't hurt -- but there's a whole passel of openers that will get you deleted from a digital dater's heart.
1). The generalizer
Example: hey, wuts up?
Why no one wants you: You're probably stupid. Or possibly illiterate. What's going on with you? Something cool? OK, tell him/her about that, instead. Nothing at all? Go out and cultivate a hobby of some sort, and then get back to us.
2). The autobiographer
Example: Hi! My name is Sandi! I moved to L.A. from Oklahoma a couple of months ago and, I have to say, I'm lovin' it! I just adore walking my 6-year-old Pomeranian, Marshmallow, along Venice Beach!
I'm currently working as a receptionist at a dentist's office, but when I'm not answering all those phones, I really enjoy kicking back with some Lilian Jackson Braun (that cat is SO SMART, solving all those mysteries). Oh! Did I mention I majored in Life Sciences in college and lost my virginity at age 27? Anyway, tell me about YOU!
Why no one wants you: Well, what else is there to find out? We kind of feel like we've already dated you, and we were bored the first time around.
You wouldn't sit down at a bar and tell someone your life story (that role is reserved for the old and deranged), so choose something you and the dude have in common and start with that. There's plenty of time later to run out of things to say.
3). The "eccentric"
Example: Holy Cheezburgers! You sure are a purty lady! I would love to take you down to the playground and push you on the swings! And then we can go to the zoo! Or to the ocean to build a giant sand castle by the sea!
I'll stomp on it and you'll be pissed, but you'll get over it because I'm just so gosh-darned charming. (I'll also be wearing a rather irresistible bow tie -- with a motor!) Write me back, sweet child o' mine -- that sure would be fine (that rhymed!).
Why no one wants you: We are afraid you will murder us in our sleep. Hey, it's great that you're a nonconformist who has his own trained tarantula circus, and any girl who's into well-behaved bugs is sure to dig you, but trying too hard to be interesting is just that: trying too http://www.cnn.com
There is another way that you can shoot yourself in the foot when dating online, that many don't even think about. I cannot tell better than the image below:
Yes, a carefully crafted online image can cause you to lose out when the date goes real-life. Sort of like executives avoiding social media as they know that spontaneity can be the arch-enemy of a carefully crafted public image. You can be careless in online dating and you can also be too careful.

Related posts:
Creating a Knockout Online Dating Profile That Attracts a Date
How To Get More Responses To Your Online Dating Profile
Tips for Creating the Perfect Online Dating Profile

Finding Love Online – You Might Be Shooting Yourself In The Foot

Dawg — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 00:34:33 +0000

You Could Unknowingly Be Reducing Your Chances Of Finding Love Online!

One of the best aspects of online dating can also be its worst. In fact, if you are trying to find love online you might need to look out for this one. What is it?

Well, it is the ability to be specific about what you want. Conversely, it can also be the ability to eliminate what you do not want. This can be limiting and could actually stop your from meeting the love of your life. Let me explain.

Jen is an attractive 28 year old professional woman. She seems to have all that a woman would want, except one thing, a boyfriend. For some reason, men run away from her. Perhaps they are intimidated by her independence and/or her looks. But that's not the point here. Jen recently signed up with an online dating service.

Jen is also madly in love with one man, Stephan, in her department. He is good-looking, witty, smart and funny among other endearing things. She has not garnered enough courage to let him know. She is also scared of the awkwardness that would follow if he turned her down (she is not the only one who wants Stephan). Yet, if the two were on the same dating site, they would never meet. Why?

You see, Stephan is 5 feet 10 inches tall. In her profile, Jen says she wants a man who is at least 6 feet tall! When browsing site, she only looks at profiles of men who her at least 6 feet. Talk of shooting yourself in the foot.

An article on Psychology Today, today talks about this and other issues that may be negatively impacting your ability to find love:

Online dating The last point above suggests a problem with online dating seen from the approach of wei wu wei (at least my interpretation of it): while online dating can be a fantastic tool for meeting new people, it seems that it excessively narrows down the pool of people you're likely to meet. In addition to the various selection algorithms they use (again, see here), I think that introducing some randomization to the people sites recommend to you would be healthy. Rather than giving you a list of people specifically tailored to your selected preferences (or those revealed through behavior), it might introduce you to a person you may never have thought of as a potential date but nonetheless may be surprised by.
Of course, there are some things that you can safely know you definitely do not want in a person: some people won't date a smoker, for instance, and someone allergic to cats definitely doesn't want to meet a cat owner. But it's harder to be sure that you won't like someone just because he or she is a fan of sports, or heavy metal fan, or Twilight (OK, the last one may be safe to rely upon). And it's just as hard to be sure that you have a better chance of liking someone because they share any of these interests with you; common interests are great, of course, helping a couple enjoy shared activities and conversations, but they're not everything, and you may find that you have an amazing connection with someone with completely different interests from yours. See the original story.

You can easily get around the problem of being too restrictive or too relaxed when try to find a date online. In one of our posts on how to succeed in finding love online, we ask that you make the following lists:

Things you must have: be careful with this one. As the example of Jen above, it can run counter to your interests.
Things that are good to have: These are things that you like but can still do without if someone meets your other criteria.
Things you can't stand: Smoking could be one of them, just for example.

Having the above three links could help you find that someone special without eliminating too many potential partners (or even soul mates). Remember there really is no such thing as a perfect match. Love takes effort to make it work. What you want is to reduce the amount of effort (you don't want a piece of work!). If you liked this article please re-tweet or share it with your friends on Facebook.

Niche Dating Growing In Popularity

Dawg — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 23:35:19 +0000

To say that online dating is popular is stating the obvious. But there appears to be shifting trends. It used to be that if one was internet dating, he/she would be on one of the popular mega dating sites such as Match.com or FriendFinder.com. These sites are still the leaders, with databases running to the millions. After all, they serve people from virtually all walks of life though they also have certain subtle differences. But there is a new trend immerging.

Niche dating is here. And it is popular. In fact, some niche sites have been on the receiving end of criticism, some of it scathing, for being too exclusive or serving superficial and vainglorious interests. Case in point is Beutifulpeople.com. As the name suggests, it is a site for… well, beautiful people. Not too long ago they were all over the news and even got mentioned on Jay Leno’s show. Reason? Around the holiday season, they had kicked out some of their (female) members for having gained weight. Apparently, they had ceased to be beautiful simply because they gained a few pounds. (See our post about Beutiful People).

Speaking of weight, did you know that there are specialty dating sites for big beautiful women dating? For the guys who love them curvaceous, big bum and all, this is the place to go. And if you are a big woman, what better place can you go than a place where you find men seeking out women with extra pounds? And no, these men are not necessarily big (in the fat sense of the word). Some are as athletic as a 100 meter dash Olympic champion. They just love big women.

I found a post about online niche dating that I think is very well-written. Here’s an excerpt:

For a long time, Kim sought a partner in vain in the country's rural areas.

"As a super-brainy girl in the Midwest, I was having trouble meeting a guy who wasn't intimidated," she says.

Being a geek has its problems, she notes. Fortunately, however, she found a dating site for people like her: Geek2Geek.

"I knew immediately my brains and my geeky side would be accepted, even celebrated, by anyone I met here," she says.

Geek2Geek.com is one of the countless US dating websites aimed at a niche.

There is also Ivydate.com, named after the academically elitist Ivy League. It offers to make "outstanding romantic connections a reality for highly driven men and women who value intellectual curiosity, love of learning, drive, and determination." They only welcome, however, those who have studied or worked at elite universities in the United States or Britain.

The site Horseloversconnection.com is not quite so demanding. Even owning a horse is no must, although profile photos often show one. The site's promoters make their intentions clear from the start.

"You are now at a place that brings serious country horse people together," the site says.

The dating industry in the land of opportunity appears to leave no one out, be they bearded men, bicycle-lovers, overweight people or pet fans.

And yet there is more to getting couples together than just special interests or hobbies. There are offers for specific ethnic groups or religious communities. Blacks can look for blacks, whites can seek out whites, Arabs can look for Arabs and Catholics can choose Catholics. See original article.

Right here on this site, we have posted articles about various niche dating services. There is a specialty dating site for virtually every interest or passion you can imagine, from the mild to the wild and anything in between. Is this the future? Time will tell.

How to Meet People Online

Dawg — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 20:13:59 +0000

Advice on How to Meet People Online

Plus, Comparing Free and Paid Dating Sites

If you are a single person who is looking for romance via the internet, this article will tell you how to meet people online. Because there are millions of others out there just like you, there has been a phenomenal growth in online dating services. And, the great news is that many people have found a perfect life-long partner through this medium.

Of course, an online relationship can't substitute for the real thing, but it's a great way to meet others who you can interact with, especially if you are lonely. The internet has made the world a much smaller place and communicating face-to-face with someone in another corner of the globe provides a more intimate atmosphere.

You can communicate "face to face" with someone close to you or half a world away. Webcam chatting is the closest thing to the real thing and the best dating services offer this feature to their members. If you don't have a webcam you can still communicate live using text chat and instant messaging.

There are hundreds of free online dating services and, while some can be useful, they also have problems. If you are serious about hooking up with a person with a view to a long-term relationship that includes meeting him or her personally, rather opt for a paid service. The biggest problem with free sites is that their pool of genuine people is much smaller. Plus, they lack the reputation enjoyed by more prominent sites.

A paid site also has a much more selective process and makes an effort to weed out people who exhibit bad intentions.

In addition, you will be matched only with people that meet your prescribed criteria especially when you sign up with matchmaking services. With a free service, you are going to have to put up with all sorts of unsuitable characters and you may never find someone you click with.

A paid site gives a lot of attention to security because it has a reputation to protect. This means that your personal information won't be disseminated all over cyberspace. A paid dating site might have a price tag, but it will produce a far higher percentage of suitable, serious matches.

Furthermore, your monthly fee guarantees that you will only be put in contact with people who have genuine intentions. Paid sites also can cater to niche markets thus helping you meet people who share your interests and passions. For example, your profile can include age, country, political and religious beliefs, as well as culture and ethnicity.

If you follow these "how to meet people online" tips, you are going to have a far greater chance of finding someone who is well matched to you in every way. The bottom line is that a paid site offers a far more professional, reputable, and trusted service. Many also do background checks on candidates to rule out con artists, ex-jailbirds, and the like.

Your success in meeting people online depends on your interests and choice of dating service. Check out the top 10 dating sites serving various interests now.

7 Advantages of Internet Dating

Dawg — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 18:30:59 +0000

The stigma of online dating is now gone. Internet personals are no longer viewed as something for the desperate or the geeks. This is because the advantages of internet dating far outweigh the disadvantages.

Also, online dating has several advantages of over other forms of finding love. Now that makes of for double-advantage. Let’s now look at some of these advantages:

1. Numbers: The shear numbers of singles (well, even non-singles) seeking partners online is simply phenomenal. And this is not changing any time soon. Nowhere else can you find huge numbers of people looking for all types of relationships from pen pals to marriage and fun partners and anything in between. This gives everybody a chance to find a mate. There is always someone out there seeking someone like you.

2. Convenience: You can surf, search and post personal ads online at any time and from anywhere as long as you have internet connection. And in this age where computers virtually fit our palms, you don’t even need to be at home or the office. You can do it while sunbathing on the beach. Now that’s convenience.

3. Safety: Whatever some naysayers may have said, Internet dating is proving to be safer than traditional forms of finding a mate. Yes, there is the occasional horror story. But guess what, those stories are in greater numbers in traditional dating, only they are less reported.

4. You are in control: You decide whom to contact and whose contact you will respond to. You can even block someone from contacting you. You also decided whom to see outside the dating site, the type of relationship you want, and whether to take if further.

5. Geography not an issue: Another advantage of internet dating is that you decide how far you’re willing to travel for the date. You can choose to date near or date far.

6. You get an answer up-front: You know up-front whether you have a date or not. There is virtually no beating about the bush or hard-to-get games.

7. You get to pre-date: Online dating allows you to pre-screen prospects long before the actual date. You can even go on a virtual date via live webcam where you get to see and talk with your prospect before the actual real-life meeting.

Internet Dating Profiles – To Put or Not to Put a Picture?

Dawg — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 23:15:00 +0000

There is concern among some singles seeking a date online regarding posting a picture in the personal profile. But are these fears really valid?

Let us look at some of the excuses (or reasons if you like) that people use not to post pictures and why they are largely baseless:

1. I’m not good-looking (enough): Some singles think or believe they are not good-looking enough to attract responses. Granted, online dating is just like real-life dating. After all, you are dealing with the same humans. Attractive people still get more attention and responses, especially when they are female. But the truth is, every human being is unique. There is someone out there looking for someone just like you.

2. I’m too good-looking: This is the opposite of the above problem. But this is a good problem to have. It is better to get too many responses and have to weed through them than to have none. But people who use this excuse usually have a fear for “rejection” which in this case could be not getting buried in responses. Post that picture; and if people don’t treat you like a star, accept that you are a mere mortal.

3. People that know me might see my picture: This one originates from the stigma of yesteryear surrounding online dating. That stigma is now largely dead except for people that find it hard to shed Neanderthal ways: If you’re reading this, you are not one of them. Looking at this the other way, what would someone that knows you be doing in the dating site in the first place? And who knows, it could be someone you've been interested in dating but have not been able to tell her/him, who also may have feelings for you.

4. I’m not photogenic: There are various reasons that you don’t show up well in pictures. One common one is not relaxing. Another is being too self-conscious. Relax and have fun. Seek the help of a professional photographer if necessary: the good ones know how to put you at ease and often can pin-point your problem for being “un-photogenic”.

5. People will be able to tell my age: Typically you will not hear complaints about looking too young. It is almost always being too old. Well, you are that age, aren’t you? Be true to yourself (and your potential date) and post a good recent picture of yourself. You want someone who is interested in you as you are now, not ten years ago. And the good thing is; there is someone looking for someone like you, age and all.

Internet Dating Tips to Help Find Love Online

Dawg — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 01:05:08 +0000

Internet dating has become all the rage in recent years and there is good reason why. It is very convenient to sign on with and explore an internet dating site. This allows those with frequently busy schedules to still craft a dating life even though their schedules do not permit the traditional approach to the process.

But, merely signing up with an internet dating site is not going to automatically dictate success. There are a few common internet dating tips that need to be followed in order to increase the odds of success.

First, you need to realize that an internet dating site is no different than traditional dating meeting processes. The only main difference is the variant on the way people communicate. Once you get beyond this, you will discover interactions with people are the same.

This is one of the most important internet dating tips to swallow. Far too often people will assume that because the site is designed for dating, none of the traditional rules of dating change. This is simply not the case! Never deviate from the established rules of dating or else problems will ensue and success will prove elusive.

Another one of the more popular internet dating tips would be the notion that you need to have a lot of patience. This is a truism for all forms of dating and meeting people. Trying to rush through the dating process because you have a time sensitive membership on a dating site is not going to yield success. The process just does not work that way.

And having a little bit of patience in regards to meeting the person is another important component to weigh. Remember, until you have known someone for quite a while the person is, essentially, a stranger.

This does not mean you should be standoffish towards the person but rushing into meet someone is not always a wise move. Test the waters on the person's personality through email and instant messaging and VOIP (voice over internet protocol). This will improve the odds of success since you can weed out the potential troublemakers

Among the most helpful of internet dating tips is the need to take all profiles that you read on the internet dating sites with a proverbial grain of salt. Why is this? Well, people have a tendency to exaggerate their attributes on a profile and keeping this in mind will often prevent a lot of disappointment down the road when you actually meet the person.

Those that have traveled the road prior to you are always a good resource for online internet dating tips. When someone else has had success with internet dating, they can provide a great deal of information on the subject. Why not look towards such a person as a fountain of information on the subject? It can greatly aid in your ability to succeed with internet dating. Those that have achieved success will have a tendency to want to duplicate it.

Internet Dating: Things That Could Go Wrong On First Meeting

Dawg — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 01:08:10 +0000

The goal of an internet date is to eventually take it out into the real world. After all how are you going to do “as lovers do” if you don’t meet face to face?

Many people get caught in the fantasy of their new found romance and expectations sometimes do tend to run unrealistically high. Consider that dating on the internet starts anonymously, and someone can easily pretend to be what they are not, and you have a good recipe for potential disappointment.

Cautious optimism is the best way to go. With that said, is small list of things that could go wrong on an internet date gone real-life:

1. The player: This is someone who’s in a relationship or even married. Men tend to take the cup on this one, but women do it too. A twist here is when that person is in a relationship with someone of the same sex or opposite sex if you’re seeking a same-sex relationship.

2. She/he sprays it while saying it: the person has the tendency to spit while talking.

3. She (it’s a she in most cases) suggests that you take a look at her private photos for just $20. This kind of “date” usually originates from a scam site, or a scammer who posts a personal profile on a (usually adult) dating site.

4. No show: It turns out that your date was actually a teenager (sometimes of the same sex as you) carrying out a prank. This mostly happens on free dating sites and social networking sites.

5. Your date actually shows, but she/he is dramatically older (it rarely if ever happens the other way around) than her/his photo. Or she/he is significantly overweight.